Tale of Two Cities  Sequel to Irish Eyes
by dawneh
Summary: John Paul and Craig are learning that being apart can be hard... especially when there are so many things to distract them...
1. Chapter 1

John Paul McQueen leant forward as he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. His appearance hadn't really changed much in the past few years. He still had the soft clear skin that would flush a subtle pink when he got embarrassed or excited and the full gentle mouth that would curve into a delicate smile whenever he thought of the man he loved.

But if he looked a little closer, if he looked into the deep blue of his own eyes he could see a difference.

There was something in his eyes that hadn't been there when he was 17. It hadn't been there the day he first told Craig that he loved him, or the first time that they kissed or even the first time that they made love.

What he saw was new; it had only been there for a few months and had arrived around Christmas time, the same time that Craig Dean had come back to him.

What he saw in his eyes he couldn't find a name for. Maybe it was a confidence in who he was, who he had become. Maybe it was an assurance of what he wanted from his life, of where he was going. Or maybe, just maybe, it was simply the knowledge that he was loved. That without doubt or question he knew that the love he felt for Craig was returned to him, that no matter how far apart they might be right now one day soon they would be together again.

John Paul smiled at his reflection. If he closed his eyes he could almost feel Craig's breath on his neck, his arms around his waist and, if he breathed deeply he could, just for a second, catch a hint of Craig's scent in the air.

Passing his hand through his hair John Paul sighed. Thinking of Craig made him feel the usual conflicting emotions. His heart sang because he loved Craig so much, but it also broke with the knowledge that he was still so far away.

Shaking his head John Paul left the bathroom and headed back to his bedroom to get dressed ready for another day at Hollyoaks Community College.

---

Craig Dean ran a comb through his hair with a smile. His reflection in the living room mirror smiled back at him. There was something about a Friday that always made him happy. The end of a hard week and the start of the weekend, there was nothing like it. Of course he still had the day's work at Trinity to get through but that was just a minor detail. For the first time in weeks he had the weekend to himself, as he had been given both days off from the pub and he could do whatever he liked.

His eyes caught a glimpse of the photo frame on the mantelpiece and his smile faded. He picked up the simple wooden frame and ran his fingers over the two happy faces behind the glass. The picture had been taken a few months ago when John Paul had turned up in Ireland unexpectedly.

Suddenly the weekend with nothing to do felt less appealing. There was nothing he wanted to do if John Paul wasn't there to share it with him.

"You're really missing him aren't you?" Adam stood in the doorway with a sympathetic smile.

"It's been too long," Craig told him.

His eyes went back to the photograph. It still amazed him how things had changed since he was 18. Back then he had never ever questioned his sexuality, it had never crossed his mind that he would ever fancy anyone but a girl. Then he met John Paul and everything was different.

At first he just thought that he had found an amazing friend, someone he could share his deepest hopes and fears with.

And then John Paul said that he loved him and life was never the same again.

Craig had battled with his own feelings for a long time before he could admit that he loved another man, that he loved John Paul. But when he did, when he could finally let the world know that this was the person he wanted to be with Craig felt a tremendous sense of freedom.

His life became what it should have been a long time ago. He knew what it really meant to be in love. He had John Paul to thank for all of that and now they were apart again and Craig didn't know how much longer he could stand it.

"I'll buy you a drink tonight," Adam offered as Craig prepared to leave the flat.

"Deal," Craig agreed forcing the smile back to his lips as he wondered exactly where John Paul was at that moment and what he was doing.

---

John Paul sighed quietly to himself as he looked at his watch. The lecture seemed to have been going for hours but in truth only 20 minutes had passed since he had taken his seat.

As the voice at the front of the room droned on he had trouble concentrating on the words. Closing his eyes for a second John Paul smiled as the image of Craig's face formed in his mind. The soft full lips that always tasted so good and felt so hot against his skin and the deep brown eyes that looked at John Paul the way no one else ever had, love and passion burning in them with equal measure. His mind brought into focus Craig's hands sending small tremors through John Paul's flesh as he recalled the last time those hands had caressed him and held him and the pleasure that Craig had given him with his sensual touch.

John Paul's eyes snapped open as he felt a flush rise to his face. He looked around the room and was relieved to see that no one seemed to have heard the soft moan that had escaped his lips as he had let the memories of Craig wash over him.

Shaking his head John Paul took a deep breath and tried to focus all of his attention on the tutor stood at the front of the room but it wasn't long before he became distracted again.

---

Craig fidgeted in his seat as the day's lectures seemed to drag out before him. He normally relished the opportunities to learn that he had found at Trinity but today the thoughts of John Paul were proving more of a distraction than they usually did.

The lecturer had blue eyes Craig remembered with a smile. But they were nothing like John Paul's. John Paul's eyes were of a shade that defied description, a shade that changed with his mood. Craig had seen them go from pale and pained to dark and filled with desire in the space of a few minutes. And when John Paul looked at him with those deep dark eyes Craig felt powerless to resist, not that he ever wanted to resist him, not any more.

Craig turned his mobile phone over in his hands. Flicking through the photographs that he had stored on it he paused on the one that he had taken the day John Paul left Ireland.

John Paul was reclining on Craig's bed, a sheet lying crumpled over his lower half and a lazy satisfied smile played on his lips. They had made love with the desperation of those who knew they were about to be parted and Craig had wanted to hold on to the moment for as long as he could. He could still remember John Paul's laugh as he pulled at the sheet to cover himself.

"You're not getting one of THOSE pictures of me," John Paul had said as Craig reached for his phone.

Craig ran his thumb over the screen it was the closest he had been to touching John Paul's skin in such a long time and a need was aching through his body as his thumb passed over the phone's keypad.

---

The sudden vibration against his leg startled John Paul as his mobile phone announced the arrival of a message. He had long since learned the wisdom of having his phone set to "silent" during the day. There was nothing quite like the embarrassment of a roomful of students turning their heads in unison to look at you as your phone blared out the latest silly ring tone that had seemed like a good idea in the pub the night before.

Carefully slipping his phone from his pocket John Paul smiled to see Craig's name illuminated on the display. His thumb pressed quickly on the "read" option eager to know what Craig had to say.

"Thinking about u," the message began, "miss u so much… cant wait till we're together again so I can show u just how much!"

John Paul grinned as he pressed his reply into the phone. "Just been thinking about U. Wish you were here right now so that u could show me!"

John Paul looked around the room to make sure no one had observed his surreptitious texting as he held his phone tightly in the hand that rested on his lap hoping for another message.

He didn't have to wait for long as his phone trembled against his palm.

"Cant stop thinking about that tree in the park," Craig's next message read, "You looked so hot up against it dripping wet… gotta do that again soon."

John Paul swallowed hard as the memories of his walk in the Dublin park came vividly to mind, the rain soaking his skin, the touch of Craig's hot skin and the total abandonment he felt at that moment.

"There are some great trees in Chester," John Paul texted back quickly, "We should try them out…"

There was a pause as John Paul held his phone tightly, staring at the blank screen and urging it to jump back to life. The seconds turned to minutes without a reply and John Paul lifted his face back to the lecture in a pretence that he had been concentrating.

He jumped suddenly as his phone shuddered against his skin again.

"Gotta go…" Craig had sent, "Lecture is over… stuff to do… talk soon… real soon…"

John Paul smiled as he slipped his phone back into his pocket; somehow he had the feeling that their next conversation might just involve trees.

---

"Another?" Adam asked gesturing at the empty lager bottles on the table as he got to his feet.

"Why not," Craig replied with a halfhearted shrug.

It was just typical. His first Friday night off in ages and where was he? In the very same pub he worked in, spending his time with exactly the same people.

Texting John Paul earlier had given him the same feeling of euphoria that it always did. Connecting with him, even if it was only for a few minutes, remembering their time together and promising that they would be together again soon always made him feel good, made him feel alive. It made him remember that he wasn't alone and he never had to be again.

But all too soon that feeling would leave him and he would be left feeling even more alone than ever. John Paul was still so far away and there were times that Craig didn't know if he could cope with waiting until he graduated before they could be together again.

Adam placed a fresh drink in front of Craig who took hold of the bottle with a half-smile before emptying a good portion of its contents.

"That won't help," Adam advised taking a somewhat smaller drink from his own bottle.

"Got any better ideas?" Craig asked.

"You could call him."

Craig shook his head. It was only early and he was already well on the way to being seriously drunk, hearing John Paul's voice right now would be too hard. He didn't want to make drunken promises that he wouldn't be able to keep the next day.

"Have you ever thought of just going back to Chester…?" Adam asked.

"Of course," Craig told him, "What do you think I'm planning on this summer?"

"No I mean for good."

"You trying to get rid of me?"

"Course not… but sometimes you look so miserable here…"

Craig drained the last of the alcohol from his bottle before replying.

"He doesn't want me to," Craig said sadly, a comment which caused Adam to raise his eyebrows in surprise. "No that's not what I meant," Craig continued, "He doesn't want me to give up Trinity… I'd wanted it for so long… he doesn't want to be responsible for me quitting now… thinks I might resent him later… I dunno… maybe he's right…"

"But it doesn't make it any easier?" Adam sympathised.

"No it doesn't," Craig answered with a grateful smile.

There were days when he didn't know how he would cope without Adam's support. No matter how maudlin Craig got or how much he bleated on about John Paul Adam was always there with a sympathetic ear, or a bottle of beer and more often that not both at once.

"Another?" Adam asked as he rose to his feet again.

"It's my round," Craig told him.

"Don't worry about it mate," Adam replied patting his drunken friend on the shoulder, "My treat."

---

The early evening sun shone warmly on John Paul's back as he walked though the centre of Hollyoaks village. A soft smile played across his lips as he replayed Craig's text over in his mind. He was definitely going to have to find a nice secluded tree in a nearby park before Craig's next visit to Chester.

John Paul sighed to himself. If only he didn't have to wait so long for Craig's next trip home.

"John Paul!"

John Paul turned in surprise at the voice calling his name. He had been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn't seen the man approaching him.

"Spike!" he replied with a smile, "How've you been?"

John Paul clasped his old boyfriend's hand warmly.

"Not bad," Spike said pulling John Paul in for a hug, "It's good to see you."

"You too… it's been ages."

"Yeah," Spike agreed, "Must have been… what… Christmas?"

"Yeah I guess it was…"

"You still with Craig?" Spike enquired casually.

"Yeah," John Paul said with a broad smile, "It's not easy some times… what with him being in Dublin so much…"

"I can imagine," Spike said biting back the twinge of jealousy.

"What about you?" John Paul asked, "How's it going with…."

John Paul paused as his mind went blank. He couldn't remember the name of Spike's boyfriend, or was it that Spike had never told him.

Spike frowned at John Paul's question not understanding who he could be referring to.

"What's his name," John Paul continued, "You'd just moved in together at Christmas."

Spike's frown deepened for a moment until he remembered the lie he had told John Paul the last time they met.

"Oh right..." Spike said uncomfortably, "That didn't work out… we split up."

"Oh I'm sorry mate," John Paul said patting Spike's shoulder with sympathy.

Spike shrugged as he quickly changed the subject.

"So where you headed?"

"No where… home…"

"Fancy a drink?"

John Paul thought for a moment before nodding. "Yeah," he said, "That'd be good."

---

"The thing is..." Craig said leaning on the table and pointing an unsteady finger at Adam, "The thing is about John Paul... he's got these eyes."

Craig's attempt at sounding serious was somewhat marred by his slurred voice and wavering motion in his seat.

He looked at Adam with a frown.

"You've got good eyes," he said.

"Thanks," Adam replied.

"They're green," Craig announced as if this would be of news to his friend.

"I know..."

"John Paul's got blue eyes..."

"Has he?"

"They're great..."

"So you said."

"Have you seen his eyes?"

"Yeah he's got two of them." Adam sighed as he felt the conversation slipping into the depths of drunkenness.

"He has," Craig nodded knowingly, "They're lovely."

Craig looked around the bar with a frown.

"Where is he?" he asked.

"Who?" Adam said.

"John Paul..."

"He's in Chester..."

"Is he? Where am I?"

"You're in Dublin."

"Oh yeah... Did I tell you about John Paul's eyes?"

"Yeah you did... both of them."

Craig slumped into his seat. "I miss them."

"Come on mate," Adam said getting to his feet, "I think it's time we got you home."

"Back to Chester?"

"No... back to the flat... come on."

Adam helped Craig to his feet and, with an arm around his friends' waist, guided him to the door.

---

John Paul rested his head on his hand laughing as his elbow slipped from the table.

"I think you've had one too many," Spike told him.

"Shhhh," John Paul replied, "Don't say anything and they won't notice."

"Who won't notice?"

"Any of them!"

"OK."

Spike couldn't help but smile as his old boyfriend giggled to himself in his seat. Even in this drunken state he had an unflawed beauty. His soft eyes, if slightly unfocussed, still shone their unearthly shade of blue.

"I miss Craig," John Paul slurred into his pint glass.

"How long has it been since you last saw him?" Spike asked.

"Too long…" John Paul lamented, "Months… not since I went to Dublin."

"Dublin's a great city," Spike said with a knowing nod, "Craig got a good place there?"

"Yeah," John Paul told him with a smile, "Him and Adam have a great little flat."

"Adam?"

"Hmm… Craig's flat mate."

"And what's he like?"

"OK… bit odd… strange sense of humour… but Craig likes him."

"Oh, strange in what way?"

John Paul emptied his drink and stared forlornly into the empty glass before answering.

"He thought it was funny to make out he'd been sleeping with Craig…"

"Doesn't sound like a very good joke."

"No it wasn't…" John Paul frowned into his glass desperately willing it to refill but it stubbornly refused.

"But it WAS just a joke," Spike continued.

"Yeah… he admitted it… and Craig wouldn't…"

"Wouldn't he?"

"No… not any more… he wouldn't."

Spike didn't answer for a moment as he watched John Paul slump further into his seat with a frown furrowing his brow.

"I'm sure you're right," Spike said at last, "You know him better than I do."

John Paul nodded. "I do," he agreed, "He loves me… he said so…"

John Paul made an attempt to rise but instead lost his footing and fell back heavily into his seat.

"Where are you trying to go?" Spike asked with a grin.

"Bar… we need drinks…"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Spike told him, "You've already had more that I should have let you… come on… let's get out of here."

"But it's only early…" John Paul complained while once again failing to get to his feet.

"It's really not John Paul," Spike said pulling his friend upright, "And if you have any more I'm gonna have to carry you home."

John Paul shrugged as he allowed himself to be manoeuvred out of the bar.

---

Craig shrugged off Adam's supporting arm as he wavered along the high street. Adam watched with concern waiting for the moment when he would have to rush to either prevent Craig from falling or, more likely, pick him up off the floor.

There was a solid thud as Craig slammed himself against the large glass window of a clothing store.

"Look at that," he said peering at the display.

Adam stood at his side and looked into the shop. "What?" He asked.

"That top," Craig said pointing unsteadily at a green and yellow hooded jumper, "John Paul's got one just like that."

"Has he?" Adam sighed, "And I bet he looks great in it."

"He DOES," Craig exclaimed in surprise, "Have you seen him wearing it?"

"Nah, just a good guess."

"Did I tell you about John Paul's eyes?"

"You might have mentioned them…"

---

John Paul held onto the railing outside the Dog letting the cool air flow over him as the alcohol rushed through his veins.

"I enjoyed tonight," Spike said standing at his side.

"Me too… it was good to see you."

"I've really missed you."

"You could have called… we could always go out for a drink."

Spike took hold of John Paul's hands turning the man to face him. "That's not what I meant," he said softly, "I miss YOU… being with you… I still care about you John Paul."

"Spike… I…?"

John Paul took a step to the side but his drunken footing caused him to lose balance and he fell forward against Spike.

Spike could hardly breathe as the deep blue eyes looked at him in confusion. He let his arms slip around John Paul's waist until they were stood chest to chest with their faces only inches apart.

John Paul's head swam. It felt good to be held again. To be in somebody's arms again, anybody's arms.

"Come back with me tonight John Paul," Spike breathed.

"I don't…" John Paul shook his head lightly, "Craig…"

Spike ran his hand lightly over the softness of John Paul's cheek. "Just for tonight," he said quietly.

John Paul's brain sought for the words to reply but as he was struggling to find them he felt Spike's lips pressing lightly against his own.

Somewhere at the back of his mind John Paul knew that he should stop this, that he should push Spike back and walk away before it was too late. He knew that was what he should do, but instead he felt himself pulling Spike tight against him and allowing kiss between them to deepen as all thoughts of Craig slipped from his mind.

---

Craig's hand was flat against the glass of the shop window,

"Do you plan on staying there all night?" Adam asked with a laugh, "Only if you are I'll go and get your duvet."

Craig turned around with a drunken grin. "You're a good mate," he said slapping Adam on the back.

"I am," Adam agreed, "I'm the best… now come on…"

They walked a few yards until Craig's unsteady feet steered him off course and he went stumbling into a shop doorway.

Adam reached after Craig, taking his friends hands to pull him back onto the street but instead Craig pulled the man into the doorway after him.

"You really DO have lovely eyes," Craig slurred not letting go of Adam's hand.

"I know," Adam replied, "We've already established that… but they're not as good as John Paul's."

"What would I do without you?" Craig asked tilting his head to look into the deep green eyes of his friend.

"You would be a drunken mess… now COME ON…"

Adam took a deep breath as Craig continued to stare at him. He had never noticed how deep Craig's eyes were before, how they looked right into your soul and how they seemed to see what you tried to keep hidden there.

"Adam…?" Craig tone was hushed as he took a step forward.

"Craig don't…"

Craig took no heed of Adam's words as he took another unsteady step towards the man until there was no distance left between them.

"You don't want to do this Craig," Adam said as his voice shook.

"I do," Craig replied as he let go of Adam's hands to take the man's face in his hands and kiss him.

Adam was surprised to find himself responding to Craig's kiss. Not only did he allow this kiss to happen but, before he realised it, he was returning it with equal, if not greater, desire.

After what could have been a second or possibly a lifetime Adam gripped Craig's shoulders firmly and pushed him back.

"You really don't want to do this Craig," he said firmly.

"I do," Craig argued trying to fight against the hands holding him at bay.

"No you don't," Adam repeated, "You're just drunk and you're missing John Paul and you're already gonna regret this in the morning."

"John Paul…" Craig said his body relaxing against the hands holding him. He looked at Adam with regret. "I'm really sorry," he said staggering backwards until the wall hit his back, "I don't know what I was thinking."

"It's OK mate," Adam reassured him, "Forget it… it was just the beer… come on let's get home, I think you need to sleep it off."

Craig nodded and silently followed Adam the rest of the way back to their flat as the guilt of what he had done, what he had almost done and what he had wanted to do turned over inside him until he felt physically sick.

---

The first thing that John Paul was aware of was the terrible pounding noise in his head and that was quickly followed by the excruciating pain in his temples and a rolling sense of nausea.

The only thing he was certain of at that moment was that he had drunk too much and he was never, ever, going to touch another drop of alcohol for as long as he lived.

Opening one eye a fraction he winced as the subdued light pierced into his fragile head. He opened his other eye as a frown spread across his face.

That wasn't his wallpaper and he realised as he moved slightly that he wasn't lying in his own single bed. But nor was he in a strange bedroom. It was far worse than that. He knew this room; he had been here many times before.

"Water, coffee and aspirin," an all too cheerful voice said walking into the room carrying the items listed.

"Spike," John Paul croaked as a fresh wave of nausea washed over him.

"Although judging by the way you look you probably need something stronger," Spike said with a grin setting the drinks down on the bedside table.

"Spike," John Paul repeated, "Shit!"


	2. Chapter 2

Spike let out a small laugh as he sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the dishevelled wreck that was his ex-boyfriend.

"I'll try not to take offence at that," he said.

"Oh… sorry…" John Paul stammered, "But… shit!"

"You said… here drink this." Spike passed the mug of coffee to John Paul as he raised his broken head from the pillow, "You really look like you need it."

John Paul took a sip of the hot bitter liquid and winced as the pain in his head and the sense of guilt made it hard to focus.

"I can't believe I…" John Paul shook his head and immediately regretted the action as a new agony shot through his temples causing him to groan in pain and self-loathing.

"What exactly do you remember?" Spike asked him as John Paul placed the coffee back on the bedside table.

"I remember going to the Dog," John Paul replied, "And drinking… rather a lot I'm guessing… and then…"

John Paul frowned as he tried to piece together the flashes of the previous evening that played though his mind.

"I kissed you…didn't I?" He asked.

"Well technically I think I kissed you," Spike admitted, "But yeah… you didn't exactly fight me off. And then what?"

John Paul's eyes darkened as he tried to recall the rest of the nights events but he finally shrugged in defeat as he accepted that whatever he had done next his mind was not ready, or possibly not willing, to accept it.

---

Craig's mouth tasted like something very large and very sick had crawled in it to die. His head pounded with the thudding of a very large brass band and his stomach was twisted in some very interesting Boy Scout knots.

As he parted his lips to let out a low groan he got a mouthful of cushion at which point he decided to brave the daylight and open one eye to see exactly where he was.

Allowing his vision to focus for a moment Craig carefully raised his head to discover that he was face down on the living room sofa.

"Sorry mate," a voice from the doorway said, "There was just no way I could carry you to your bedroom."

Craig turned his head slowly to see Adam approaching him with a mug of much needed black coffee.

"I think I've died," Craig groaned with a croaky voice.

"Nah you haven't," Adam assured him, "I wouldn't have made you a coffee if you were dead!"

"Thanks," Craig mumbled as he attempted to get himself upright and take the hot drink from Adam's hand.

"How d'you feel?" Adam asked.

"How do I look?"

Adam grimaced.

"That bad eh?" Craig said.

"I've seen you look better," Adam admitted.

"Just how much did I drink?"

"I lost count…"

"Was I very annoying?"

Adam laughed. "Well I heard more about John Paul's eyes that I ever expected so."

"Sorry," Craig said with some degree of embarrassment as he sipped at his drink, "I didn't do anything stupid did I… or upset anyone."

When Adam didn't answer Craig raised his eyes to look at his flat mate.

"What did I do?" Judging by the expression on Adam's face Craig knew there was something the he couldn't remember… and probably wouldn't want to.

"It doesn't matter," Adam told him with a shrug.

"OK… so there IS something… what is it?"

Craig frowned as he tried to replay the night in his mind. He had perfect recollection of many empty bottles and, for some reason, John Paul's green and yellow hoodie but there was nothing worrying in those memories.

"Really… don't worry about it… it was nothing…" Adam said without looking Craig in the eye.

As Craig thought harder he suddenly recalled the glow of Adam's bright green eyes only inches from his face looking at him with confusion and… and what?

"Oh shit!" Craig exclaimed as the memory of pressing his lips against Adam's came crashing back into his brain. The feel of Adam's soft mouth under his, the need that had boiled inside him and the strength in Adam's hands as he pushed Craig away.

"I'm really sorry mate… I don't know what I was thinking…" Craig felt his cheeks flush as he spoke.

"Like I said, don't worry about it. You were drunk, I know that's all there was to it… too much thinking about John Paul's eyes if you ask me!"

Craig rubbed his hands over his face. "Thank god it was only you," he said staggering to his feet and making his unsteady way towards the bathroom.

"How d'you mean?"

"Well if it had been someone else… I mean it's a good job you're not gay and don't fancy me eh? Who knows where it could have lead!" Craig laughed softly as he left the room

"Yeah good job," Adam called after him. "Good job I've not been wanting to kiss you since the day I move in here," he continued under his breath, "Good job it didn't take all of my strength to turn you down last night."

Adam let his gaze wander to the photograph of John Paul on the mantle piece. "I just hope you appreciate him," Adam whispered to the smiling image in the frame.

---

"And that's really all you remember?" Spike asked.

"Yeah… I don't even know how we got back here," John Paul told him, "God what have I done Spike? How could I…?"

Spike smiled and touched his hand lightly against John Paul's face. "You didn't," he said with a gentle smile.

"What d'you mean?"

"Look you came back here with me true enough and when we got here you wanted another drink…"

"Another one… you didn't let me did you?"

"Well I told you it was vodka and coke… I just never put any vodka in it!"

"Thanks…" John Paul sighed, "And then what."

"And then you started telling me just how much you loved Craig," Spike told him glumly, "You know it really puts a damper on the mood when you're trying to seduce someone and he keeps talking about his boyfriend." Spike laughed but there was a hint of genuine sadness to the sound.

"So we didn't…?" John Paul's eyes shone with a new found hope.

"No," Spike said shaking his head, "I wanted you John Paul, I won't deny it, but I realised it wasn't what you really wanted and I wasn't about to take advantage of the fact that you were drunk and missing Craig."

"Thank you," John Paul said with a small smile.

"Besides," Spike said with a laugh, "If you'd taken a moment to check you would've realised that you're still half dressed under that duvet… You passed out downstairs and I didn't have the energy to strip you before putting you to bed."

John Paul lifted the edge of the bed cover and grinned with embarrassment as he noticed that he was still in his jeans. He had been so overcome with guilt at waking up in Spike's bed it had never even crossed his mind to consider what he was wearing.

"I'm sorry Spike," John Paul said quietly.

"What for?"

"I don't know… everything…"

Spike patted John Paul's shoulder as he stood up. "I just hope Craig realises how much he means to you."

"I think he does," John Paul replied as Spike left the room.

---

John Paul sank his toes into the softness of the sofa cushion as he relished the peace of a Sunday afternoon. Most of the previous day had been lost in the haze of a major hangover mixed with an equal measure of guilt.

He might not have slept with Spike, and he would be eternally grateful to his ex for that, but he still felt the overwhelming wash of guilt as his memories became clearer and he recalled in perfect detail just how much he had wanted Spike at that moment, and how kissing him had temporarily pushed all thoughts of Craig from his mind.

John Paul turned his mobile phone over in his hands. He wanted nothing more than to call Craig, to hear his voice and to be reminded of just where his heart really belonged. But each time he dialled Craig's number he cancelled the call before it connected. He knew that if he spoke to Craig, if he heard that voice, he would need to confess what he had done, or what he had almost done, and he wasn't quite prepared for that conversation yet.

With a sigh John Paul rested his head against the back of the sofa. Why did life always have to be this complicated? Could he not, just for once, have the happy ending he had dreamed of? Why was there always something to come between him and Craig? And right now why did that thing have to be the entire Irish Sea?

Scrubbing his hands through his hair John Paul stood up. He needed some air to clear his head. He'd been cooped up inside for too long. He would take a walk and then call Craig… and then tell Craig.

Slipping his bare feet into his trainers he prepared to leave.

As he opened the front door John Paul had to step back quickly to avoid being hit in the face by a hand that had just been raised to knock. He stood transfixed for a second with his eyes resting on the fist that still hovered in mid-air. As the hand slowly fell John Paul's gaze took in the face of his visitor, the soft tanned skin, the pink full mouth and the gentlest, deepest brown eyes he had ever known.

"Craig," John Paul whispered, afraid to say the name any louder in case he broke the spell that had brought the man to his door.

"John Paul, I had to come… I needed to…" Craig's words died on his lips as he reached for the face of the man he loved, the face that had haunted his dreams until he had no choice other than to book a last minute flight and get back to Chester to see it.

Their mouths crashed together hard as their kiss screamed of their pent up desires and frustrations. It had been too long since they had been together and they had both suffered at the hands of that separation.

Grabbing hold of John Paul's shirt Craig spun the man around until his back collided with the front door slamming it shut. With a force fuelled by desire Craig pushed John Paul back hard, pinning him against the hard wood with the weight of his own body.

John Paul's hands grabbed at Craig, pulling him close and holding him tight, never wanting to let go again. Having Craig back in his arms again let John Paul believe that everything would be alright and that nothing could spoil what they had.

"Not here," John Paul panted as Craig's hands began to fumble with his belt, "Someone could come home."

Craig reluctantly let his hands drop as he stepped back, his face was flushed as he looked into the dazzling blue of John Paul's eyes. Blue was definitely better than green Craig decided smiling to himself as he grabbed John Paul's hands and ran up the stairs taking them two at a time.

---

The second that they arrived in the seclusion of John Paul's bedroom Craig seized hold of John Paul and once again pushed him back against the door. John Paul could feel the hard wood pressing into his back and the heat of Craig's breath on his face as Craig's fingers dug into his shoulders.

Craig let out a short throaty laugh. "Well it's not exactly a tree," he said indicating the door, "But I think it might just do!"

"And what exactly did you have in mind?" John Paul asked with his eyes fixed on the warm curve of Craig's lips, desperate to taste them again, to feel them against his skin.

"I haven't been able to get the image of you up against that tree out of my mind since you left Dublin," Craig told him, his face so close to John Paul's that the man could feel his words before he heard them, "I've not stopped thinking about what else I should have done to you that day while we had the chance."

"I seem to recall what we did was pretty good," John Paul said with a lusty smile as he ran his tongue over his lips. His flesh ached at the memory of that day, of Craig's touch wrapped around him in the cool rain of the public park. He wanted nothing more than for Craig to touch him that way again but the mans fingers still rested on his shoulders.

"I think we can do better," Craig said as he closed the small gap between them pressing his mouth against John Paul's hungry lips.

John Paul's hands were around Craig in a flash, his fingers digging into the softness of Craig's buttocks as he pulled the man against him. Craig ground his groin against John Paul's, rubbing his rapidly growing erection against the one he could feel through John Paul's jeans.

"It's been too long," Craig groaned softly, "I can't be without you this long again."

"It's been driving me insane not being able to see you, to touch you," John Paul confessed, "I want you so bad Craig… I need you…"

Craig tasted so good, so much better than John Paul could ever remember. He wasn't sure if it was due to the time they had been apart or because of how close he had come to jeopardising what they had. Craig felt so right in his arms, his body was so firm as it pinned John Paul to the door, this was where he belonged and John Paul knew that nothing or no one could ever make him feel this alive.

Craig's hands slid from John Paul's shoulders as they kissed, slipping down his chest and over his belly, pausing for a moment to free the fastening of John Paul jeans before one trembling hand ventured inside.

John Paul gasped as Craig's hand passed lightly over his cock, touching it gently, teasing it and making him want more, so much more.

"Turn around," Craig whispered into John Paul's ear, "Let me show you exactly what I should have done when you were against that tree…"

John Paul turned slowly on the spot, mourning the loss of Craig's hand against his cock as his rotation pulled it away from him.

Craig eased both hands under the hem of John Paul's shirt and stroked at the soft smooth skin beneath, his palms caressing John Paul's back, his hips and over his firm belly. John Paul held his breath as Craig continued to touch him and explore him. He rested his forehead against the cool wood of the door and gave himself over completely to Craig.

Craig's hands squeezed lightly at the flesh on John Paul's hips as he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his jeans and eased them slowly downwards. His eyes followed the descent of the denim as John Paul's creamy skin was exposed.

Craig lowered himself to his knees as he pushed John Paul's jeans to the ground and helped the man step out of them and his trainers at the same time. He ran his hands back up over the skin of John Paul's legs, caressing the soft skin of his thighs and feeling John Paul tremble at his touch.

Pressing his lips to John Paul's inner thigh Craig ran his tongue over its warmth, sucking a little of the flesh into his mouth before biting onto it just hard enough to make John Paul whimper, but not with pain.

John Paul's arms were crossed in front of his face providing a cushion for his head and his hands balled into fists as Craig's slow caresses drove him insane.

He was torn between a desire to scream at Craig to get on with it and fuck him already and the need to make this time last as long as possible, who knew when they would get the chance to be together again?

Craig dragged his finger nails over the milky white skin of John Paul's buttocks and then pressed his mouth to the places he had scratched, letting his tongue trail over the pale pink stripes he had created. His cock was throbbing painfully in his jeans as he knelt in worship of the body he adored, the body that he so desperately wanted to take possession of.

"Craig… please…" John Paul's voice shook as he spoke, he could hardly stand the waiting any longer he needed Craig and he needed him now.

Craig rose to his feet with his hands making a return journey up John Paul's torso until he was stood with his chest pressed hard against his lovers back. He pressed his mouth into the crook of John Paul's neck kissing and nibbling it teasingly.

"I love it when you beg," Craig breathed hotly into John Paul's ear.

"I'll beg all you want… just please don't make me wait any more…"

There was a sudden coolness against John Paul's back as Craig stepped away from him but John Paul just remained stationary as he heard the drawer of his bedside cabinet being pulled open, it was a good thing that Craig knew where he kept all his important supplies.

Craig was behind him again in an instant, fighting with his jean, pulling them down roughly to allow his painfully aroused cock freedom. He flipped the lid of the bottle he had grabbed from John Paul's cabinet and poured its contents over his erection, sighing as the oily liquid ran over him in a promise of things to come.

Craig guided his slippery cock between John Paul's buttocks drawing small teasing circles at the pulsating opening hidden there.

"Tell me how much you want this," Craig insisted as he pushed against John Paul's flesh lightly, too lightly to penetrate him.

"You know I do…" John Paul whimpered trying to push back against the cock poised against him but Craig simply moved back with him enjoying the teasing almost as much as he knew he would enjoy the final satisfaction.

"But I want you to tell me… say it John Paul… tell me what you want…"

"I want you," John Paul said his voice heavy with desperation, "I want you inside me… I want to feel you in me… I want you to fuck me… I want… oh god!"

Before John Paul had finished speaking Craig, unable to resist his own desires any longer, plunged himself hard into John Paul's willing body.

John Paul cried out as the hardness of Craig's cock drove deeply into him with a sudden force that took his breath away and caused a pain to rip through him.

Realising what he had done Craig froze. His lust had got the better of him and he felt a wave of guilt at John Paul's pained cry.

"John Paul I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to…"

"It's OK," John Paul panted as the pain subsided and his body relaxed around the cock buried deep inside him; "Don't stop Craig… for gods sake don't stop."

"It was your fault anyway," Craig justified as he began to move, rather more gently, in and out of the hot flesh that held him, "You're just too fucking hot to resist…"

"I know," John Paul laughed as he felt Craig sliding into him again and filling him in a way that was far more than just physical.

Craig held onto John Paul as he moved inside him, relishing the feeling of that hot, tight entrance that enveloped him perfectly.

He let his hand trail over John Paul's belly again until it came into contact with the hardness of his cock. He brushed his fingers over its length, listening to the soft sighs and whimpers his touch extracted from his lover, until finally taking it in a firm grip and moving his hand in a steady rhythm that he knew would quickly have the desire effect on John Paul, especially if he was feeling as aroused as Craig was.

"God you feel amazing," Craig gasped as he thrust himself deeper and harder into John Paul. He couldn't remember ever wanting anybody this much or making love to anyone ever feeling this good, this perfect.

"Craig… I… I'm gonna…" John Paul couldn't manage words as Craig hand on his cock drove him wild. Craig's teasing of his body had already pushed him to the edge and now the firm cock inside him and the tight hand pulling at him was too much to resist and in truth he had no wish to resist.

Knowing that John Paul was so close Craig increased his strokes, his body pounding hard against John Paul as he thrust himself inside and his hand moved faster over the cock that began to throb heavily in his grip.

"You're an incredible fuck you know," Craig moaned into John Paul's ear knowing that his words would be the final thing to push the man over the edge, "Fucking your arse like this, there's nothing like it…"

As he spoke Craig's hand gripped tighter and moved faster until John Paul felt the pressure in his body explode from him.

"Christ Craig, fuck me… fuck me hard…"

John Paul cried out with an animalistic need as his body shook with intense pleasure, his climax ripping though his flesh as he clawed at the wood beneath his hands. His cock pulsed in Craig's palm as he came, spattering the door before him and covering the hand that held him.

John Paul's body contracted around Craig's cock making him slam harder into the flesh that was bringing him so close to release.

"God John Paul," Craig panted as he felt the power of his orgasm racing towards him.

"Fuck me Craig," John Paul urged, "I want to feel you come inside me…"

"John Paul, yes… I…"

Craig shouted out his pleasure before sinking his teeth into John Paul's neck. His body shook and he pounded hard into John Paul as his climax rushed from him pouring deep inside his lover.

They leant together against the door breathless but satisfied, their brows glistening with sweat.

"I forgot to ask," John Paul said as he gradually regained his senses, "What brings you back to Chester."

Craig laughed as he pulled away from the comfort John Paul's body and stood on shaky legs as he adjusted his clothes. "I just wanted to see you," he said simply.

"I'm glad you did," John Paul replied turning to face him, "I've really missed you.

"I missed you to," Craig said taking the man he loved in his arms and holding him close, "More than you can imagine."

---

Craig rested his head against John Paul's chest contentedly, it always amazed him how this location could be more comfortable than any pillow he had ever known.

John Paul's fingertips trailed lazily through Craig's hair, happy to have the man back with him again even if it would only be for a short time.

"Did you really only come back coz you wanted to see me?" John Paul asked with a smile.

"Mmm," Craig mumbled desperately trying to fight off the sleep that pulled at him, "I told you… I was missing you…"

"I wish you were here all the time," John Paul said sadly, "Sometimes being apart is so hard… and I…"

John Paul bit his lip. It would be so easy to just hold Craig for as long as he could and to keep his secret buried deep inside where it could do no harm. But John Paul had had enough of secrets in his life and he knew that they had a habit of being revealed whether or not you wanted them to be.

"What is it?" Craig turned his eyes to John Paul at the pain he heard in his voice.

"There's something I think I should tell you… and you won't like it."

Craig felt a cold hand grip at his chest, there was something about John Paul's tone and the sorrow in those pale blue eyes that made him fear the worst.

"What's happened?" He asked raising himself to his knees and looking down on John Paul. He had asked the question but he wasn't all that sure he wanted to know the answer.

John Paul pulled himself upright until his back was resting against his headboard.

"I got really drunk the other night…"

"OK."

"I mean REALLY drunk… I went out with… Spike."

Craig felt his chest tighten at the mention of that name. Spike… why did this have to involve Spike?

"And I was missing you Craig, god I was missing you so bad…" John Paul reached out to take hold of Craig's arm. There was a darkness in Craig's eyes that John Paul hadn't seen for a long time… one that he had hoped he wouldn't see again.

"What happened?" Craig voice was cold as he spoke and it sent chills through John Paul's soul.

"I kissed him," John Paul's voice was hardly more than a whisper and he lowered his gaze as he spoke not ready to see the disappointment in Craig's eyes.

Craig ground his teeth together as he pulled away from John Paul's hand. He left the bed and stood beside John Paul's window, the balmy afternoon had clouded over while they made love and it was now dark and heavy looking.

"And is that all…?" Craig could hardly talk around the bile he could feel rising in his throat.

"Not quite," John Paul admitted, "I went back to his flat…"

Craig spun around to face John Paul, his eyes flashing with a murderous anger. "Did you fuck him," he spat out bitterly.

"NO! God no…" John Paul insisted as he walked to Craig's side, "I didn't… I wouldn't… It's just stupid… I was stupid… I was drunk… and lonely… and I missed you – I wanted YOU."

"Oh I see," Craig replied bitterly, "You were missing me so much you thought you'd have a quick fumble with your ex?"

"It wasn't like that Craig," John Paul said his eyes sparkling with tears that were threatening to escape, "Please try to understand…"

"Understand?" Craig snapped, "How am I supposed to understand that you missed me so much you went and snogged another…"

Craig's words died on his lips as he realised what he was saying. If anyone could understand such an action then surely it was Craig. After all it was an action he had taken himself and it was an action that had been the driving force behind his urgent desire to see John Paul again.

He closed his eyes and scraped his fingers through his hair. "Why did it have to be Spike?" he asked quietly.

"Does that matter?" John Paul replied feeling relieved as he saw Craig's initial anger draining from him.

"It matters," Craig said lifting his eyes to John Paul's, "Why couldn't it be anyone but him?"

"It just was… that's not what's important… I don't understand why it being Spike makes a difference."

"Because it's Spike… he's always there… in the background… getting in the way." Craig struggled with his thoughts as they cascaded through his mind.

"No he isn't," John Paul argued, "He's in the past… YOU'RE what's important to me now… I don't know why you still hate him so much."

"Because he's Spike… because he…" Craig paused desperate for the words that would make any sense and not sure that any of the ones he chose would be enough. "Because he took you from me… he was the first one you…"

John Paul's eyes widened in surprise at Craig's words. "Are you telling me that you dislike Spike so much because he was the first man I slept with?"

"It should have been me," Craig said confirming John Paul's theory, "I just needed more time but he got in the way and stole that from me."

"Oh Craig you idiot," John Paul couldn't hold back a small laugh, "You know that Spike is nothing compared to you… HE might have been the first bloke I slept with… but you were the first…NO, the ONLY person I've ever made love to."

"Make sure you keep it that way," Craig insisted pulling John Paul into his arms.

"Does this mean I'm forgiven," John Paul asked breathing in the scent of Craig's hair.

"That depends," Craig told him.

"On what?"

Craig stepped back holding John Paul at arms length. "On if you can forgive me…"

John Paul laughed. "Oh and what exactly have YOU done?"

Craig licked his lips nervously. "I kissed Adam," he said sheepishly.

John Paul frowned for a second. "Adam?" he asked, "Your straight flatmate Adam?"

Craig nodded.

"You hypocrite," John Paul said with annoyance, "You give me a hard time about Spike and you… with Adam…"

"I'm an idiot remember?" Craig said with a shrug.

"Too right you are," John Paul agreed punching him lightly on the arm, "But you're MY idiot."

John Paul accepted the embrace that Craig offered him and they held each other close.

After a while the full meaning behind Craig's confession hit John Paul and he couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" Craig asked.

"Adam!" John Paul chuckled, "How the hell did he react when you kissed him?"

"He was OK about it really," Craig said, "He didn't freak out or anything… I think he understood that I was missing you so much…"

John Paul laughed again. "We're a right pair aren't we?" he said with a grin.

"Obviously not safe to be kept apart," Craig replied.

"You could be right," John Paul agreed, "We really are gonna have to do something about that."


	3. Chapter 3

John Paul was pulled from his comfortable sleep by hands shaking his shoulders roughly. As he forced his eyelids open he saw the deep brown eyes of Craig looking down at him.

With a casual stretch John Paul reached out his arms and snaked them around Craig's neck to pull that beautiful early morning vision towards him.

Craig succumbed to the warmth of John Paul's sleepy kiss until he remembered the reason he had woken the man in the first place and reluctantly pushed him away.

"I'm late," Craig said with a worried frown, "Call me a taxi… if I'm not at the station in 30 minutes I'll never make it to the airport in time for my flight…"

John Paul sighed as he sat up rubbing his eyes. "What on earth possessed you to come all the way to Chester for just one night?" he asked with a yawn.

Craig paused in the act of frantically pulling his trousers on to throw a seductive smile at John Paul. "YOU possessed me," he said with a wink, "Just a few hours with you was worth the effort… now WHERE is my other shoe?"

John Paul tumbled from his bed and pointed to the corner of his room. "It's there," he said, "Just where you threw it last night…" 

Craig laughed as he hobbled over to where his shoe had landed the previous evening. It was true, the decision to book a last minute flight back home just so he could spend one night with John Paul had been a rash and impulsive one, but he didn't regret a single second… or a single penny of it.

His actions with Adam a couple of nights earlier had shaken Craig's faith in himself and in his feelings for John Paul. He couldn't understand how he would want to kiss anyone else if his love was genuine. Hearing that John Paul had been through the same experience was both a trauma and a comfort. The thought of Spike's lips on that mouth again made Craig see red and if he had time he could very well have sought out Spike and let him know just how he felt about that. But at the same time knowing that John Paul could be tempted away in a weakness of alcohol and loneliness made Craig realised that it was not his feelings at fault but the distance between him and the man he loved.

John Paul struggled between getting dressed and balancing his phone under his chin as he called a taxi to come take Craig out of his life again.

"It'll be 10 minutes," he said letting the phone drop to the bed as he pulled his top over his head.

Craig looked at his watch nervously. "It better be," he said, "I won't make it if it's late."

"So you get another flight…"

Craig paused before answering. "I don't think I can afford it," he confessed, "I pretty much spent all my spare cash getting here…" 

"Idiot," John Paul said pulling Craig into his arms, partly to have a last hug from the man and partly to hide the tears that were pricking behind his eyes. Craig Dean never ceased to amaze him and that he would spend all the money he had for just one night together made John Paul want to weep with how much he adored his dark haired love.

"Well if you can't get back," John Paul continued as he loosened his hold on Craig, "Then I will just have to keep you here… in my room…"

Craig raised his eyebrows as if considering the proposition. "It's an idea," he chuckled, "But I don't THINK I can get a degree in being your love slave."  
"Shame," John Paul shrugged, "You'd certainly pass that one!"

They were still laughing as they made their way down the stairs to await the imminent arrival of the taxi.

"Look I've been thinking," John Paul said taking hold of Craig's hands as they stood by the open door, "About summer…"

"Yeah I can't wait to come back to Chester for a few months…"

"What if you don't?"

Craig frowned. "How d'you mean?"

"If you didn't come back to Chester… if you stayed in Dublin… I mean is that a possibility… you would still have your room in the flat and everything?"

"Well yeah… Adam's staying there for the summer and I'm still paying my share of the rent… but why wouldn't I come home… I thought we'd agreed, so we can finally spend some time together…"

"We did," John Paul said squeezing Craig's hands, "But if you come back to Chester YOU'LL still be at the Dog and I'LL still be here… whereas if I came to Dublin…"

"We could be together ALL the time…"

"Exactly!" 

Craig grinned. "I like your thinking… my mum won't like it though." 

"Neither will mine," John Paul sighed, "But I think it's time to do what makes US happy… not everyone else."

There was a sudden noise as the taxi beeped its horn making John Paul and Craig jump in surprise.

"Time to go," Craig said sadly touching his lips to John Paul's soft mouth one last time.

"I hate saying goodbye to you," John Paul whispered, "We do it too often…"

As Craig climbed into the taxi he flashed a bright smile at John Paul. "Do it," he said, "Come to Dublin for the summer… you're right… we have to do what makes us happy…"

With that the taxi sped from the kerb taking Craig back to the life he had in another country. But this time as John Paul watched the car disappear around the corner he didn't feel the usual sense of loss… in just a few months time he would be following Craig's path to Dublin where nothing would be able to keep them apart.

---

John Paul smiled at the case in the corner of his room. It had been packed, and then repacked, for the last two weeks and now it was only a matter of days until that case would accompany John Paul to Ireland.

Myra had been upset that her only son was choosing to spend his entire summer break so far from her, but in her usual supportive style she never complained or tried to talk him out of it. She understood that he had to follow his heart and all she could do is hope that this time Craig Dean would manage not to break it.

"I'm sure I've forgotten something…" John Paul said as he looked at the already overstuffed case.

"John Paul," Myra said with a soft laugh, "You're going to Dublin… not another planet… I'm sure they have shops there if you HAVE forgotten anything… although looking at the size of that case I can't see how there can be anything left in this entire house!" 

"Well..." John Paul tried to reason as he wrapped his arms around his mother's waist and rested his head on her shoulder, "I'm gonna be gone for ages… I don't know what I might need."

"Don't remind me now long you're gonna be gone," Myra said sadly, "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," John Paul admitted as he squeezed his mother a little tighter, "But you do understand that I need this time with Craig… we've hardly seen each other since Christmas and those few days I went over there… if we're gonna make this work we really need to have some time together."

"I know," Myra said ruffling John Paul's hair, "But you just tell him… if he hurts my son again he's gonna have the entire McQueen family to answer to!"

John Paul laughed, although he knew that Myra was far from joking. "Thanks mum," he said, "But I really think things are gonna be OK this time."

--- 

Lugging his heavy case through the airport terminal John Paul looked around with a worried frown. Craig should be here by now. He had sent a text earlier in the day saying he had been able to borrow a car and would pick John Paul up at the airport but there was no sign of him anywhere.

John Paul made his way to the taxi rank and joined the queue as he fished his phone out of his pocket.

Just as he pulled up Craig's name on the screen John Paul heard a car horn and a familiar voice calling his name. He turned as if in slow motion to see Craig's face leaning out of a dark blue car.

John Paul's heart was racing as he walked towards the car. Craig jumped out and opened the boot to throw John Paul's case inside.

As the car boot slammed shut the two young men turned and faced each other. Time seemed to freeze as they stood locked in each other's gaze. The rest of the world became unfocused as John Paul looked into those rich brown eyes, the only thing that he could really see; the only thing sharp and clear to him was the figure of Craig Dean. 

"Sorry I'm late," Craig said in a hushed tone, "I got stuck in traffic…"

"You're here now," John Paul replied with a smile that made his eyes shine. 

"And so are you," Craig said taking a hesitant step forward, "You're really here."

"There's nowhere else I could be," John Paul answered as a strange nervousness rushed through him.

They stood in silent observation of each other, unable to close the gap between them as if some unseen force was keeping them apart. John Paul felt his palms damp with sweat as he looked into the face of the man he loved. It had taken so much pain and so many tears to bring them to this point in time and the next few weeks would finally let them know if it had been worth all the suffering.

John Paul and Craig had fought to prove that their love could survive being apart and now, away from the safety and support of their friends and families, they had to prove that it could also survive being together.

Craig slowly reached out his hand and curled his fingers into John Paul's. "I feel like I've been waiting a life time for today," he said with an embarrassed chuckle.

"I'd wait an eternity for you Craig," John Paul said with conviction, "And not regret a single second."

Craig felt his cheeks flush at John Paul's words. How had he been lucky enough to find someone who loved him as much as John Paul did? How had he ever been able to doubt what they shared and what they meant to each other? How would he ever survive without John Paul in his life, in his arms, in his bed? Craig held tightly on to John Paul's hand secure in the knowledge that he would never have to find the answer to that last question.

"OY! Are you two gonna stand there all day? There are other people at this airport you know."

John Paul turned his head to see a red-faced man glaring at them, neither of them had realised just how long they had been standing basking in each others presence.

"Sorry," Craig called to the man, "We're just leaving…"

Craig threw a sheepish grin to John Paul as he turned to head back to the drivers seat.

"Craig," John Paul called catching Craig's hand and pulling the man back towards him, "I love you."

John Paul touched his lips softly against Craig's for a second, feeling the familiar thrill run through his body, before letting him go and climbing into the passenger seat.

As Craig pulled the car door closed behind him he smiled at the beautiful man sat next to him, the life time that he had waited seemed an insignificant blink of an eye now that John Paul was with him and he intended to make every second together last as long as he could.

"Here we go then," Craig announced as he put the car in gear and pulled away from the kerb.

"Back home," John Paul said with a smile.

"Not yet," Craig told him, "I thought we'd go somewhere else first…" 

"Where?" 

Craig laughed as he turned his twinkling eyes to John Paul. "The park of course!"

---

"Craig stop it… we can't… Craig!!" John Paul could hardly get the words out for laughing as Craig grabbed his hand and ran full pelt through the centre of the park pulling John Paul behind him.

John Paul's feet bounced on the soft summer grass as he raced to keep up with Craig, laughter bubbling through him with every step.

"Come on slow coach," Craig teased as he let go of John Paul's hand and raced ahead.

"You're insane," John Paul called after him.

"You wouldn't have me any other way," Craig yelled over his shoulder. 

John Paul stood still as he watched the retreating back of Craig with a smile. He had been in Dublin for less than an hour but he felt like he had come home. Of course he knew it wasn't Dublin that made him feel like that, he would have felt the same in whatever city, town or village he landed in as long as Craig Dean was there to take his hand.

Taking a deep breath John Paul filled his lungs with the warm summer air and the scent of the flowers that decorated the borders of the park. But underneath the flowers he could taste another scent, a richer more compelling one and, as he ran his hand through his hair, John Paul caught the scent on his palm and recognised the rich fragrance of Craig on his skin. He breathed it in deeply for a second and closed his eyes as the warmth of that perfume enveloped him. An air of pure contentment filled John Paul as he stood in the centre of the park, oblivious to the world around him as he let the happiness he felt drift though every fibre of his body.

His eyes opened slowly to see the figure of Craig in the distance and, with another laugh of joy, John Paul sprinted to catch up to the man he loved.

"What kept you?" Craig asked with a grin as John Paul approached.

John Paul shook his head and laughed at Craig as he leant against a tree, but not just A tree… THE tree.

"Recognise it?" Craig said as he stroked the bark affectionately.

"I think I can just about recall," John Paul joked.

"Maybe I should remind you then."

Craig took hold of John Paul's shoulders and spun him around until his back came to rest against the solid tree trunk. Their eyes fused together, blue and brown melting into a colour that only they could see.

As Craig's lips touched John Paul's the joy he felt multiplied a hundred fold until he thought his heart would burst it was so full. 

"I've missed you so much," Craig whispered, his breath hot against John Paul's face.

"Let's not think about that now," John Paul said as he ran his hand gently over Craig's face and looked deeply into the rich brown eyes that reflected back to him the love he felt, "We're together now and that's all that matters."

"Do you have any idea just how much I want you?" As Craig spoke he leaned his body against John Paul's sending shivers through his body at their closeness.

"I want you too… so much but…"

"Why but?" Craig questioned, "Here and now… it's perfect… just like last time."

John Paul laughed as he gently pushed Craig away, fighting every urge that he had to hold the man close and never let him go.

"The difference is," John Paul explained with a gentle laugh, "Last time it was pouring down with rain and the place was deserted… Just look around Craig… It's a summers afternoon!"

For the first time Craig took a second to pay attention to his surroundings as was surprised to see just how large a percentage of the population of Dublin seemed to have congregated in the park that day.

"Ah good point," Craig conceded reluctantly, "But we are SO coming back here before the end of the summer… even if we have to do it at midnight."

John Paul laughed and brushed a soft kiss across Craig's lips. "It's a date," he agreed.

"I suppose we'd better get back to the flat then," Craig said slipping his hand comfortably into John Paul's as they headed back towards the car.

"Just look at that… it shouldn't be allowed." Craig stopped in his tracks at the voice of a woman behind them and his fingers curled tightly into John Paul's.

"Leave it," John Paul whispered, "It doesn't matter."

Craig turned to face the disapproving speaker. "I'm sorry, did you say something?" he asked looking over the woman who had stopped walking as he turned around. She seemed in her late 40's with dark hair scraped back from her face and she had been addressing the smaller fair-haired man at her side.

"Well it's just not natural is it?" She tried to reason, "Especially not paraded out in public where anyone can see."

Craig knuckles whitened around John Paul's hand.

"Please Craig just walk away."

Craig looked at the woman and her companion with distaste and then, as he noticed the haunted look in the mans eyes and the bitter look in the eyes of what Craig assumed was his wife, Craig's expression turned to sympathy.

Craig cupped John Paul's face gently in his hands and kissed him with a tenderness that made John Paul feel weak.

Turning back to the couple Craig just smiled. "It's called love," he told them, "You should try it… it's wonderful."

Taking back possession of John Paul's hand Craig turned his back on the astonished faces of the couple and, with a wink to John Paul, the pair continued their journey back to the car.

"Craig Dean you really are amazing."

"And don't you forget it!"

---

"Welcome back to Ireland," Adam held out his hand as John Paul bustled through the door dropping his heavy case to the floor.

"Thanks," John Paul replied with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes talking the hand offered to him for a brief shake before letting it go.

"Here we are then," Craig chimed in with a cheerful smile, "Home sweet home… for the next few weeks anyway."

John Paul looked around the room, breathing in the air that was rich with the aroma of Craig's aftershave and another similar scent, presumably that of Adam's, which lingered subtly underneath.

Far from Hollyoaks, far from Chester and far from his family but Craig was right, John Paul had come home. The room seemed unchanged since he last visited and John Paul smiled to see that his photograph still had pride of place on the sideboard.

Craig noticed where John Paul was looking and scooped the picture frame up into his hands.

"I don't really need this around now that I've got the real thing," he joked running his thumb over the glass before replacing it on its usual spot.

"And in 3D as well," John Paul told him with a grin.

"And SUCH 3D," Craig agreed slipping his arm around John Paul's waist and pulling him close for a kiss.

Adam shuffled uncomfortably as he watched Craig's lips touch so gently against John Paul's with a love he could only dream of. As he looked on he remembered vividly the feel of those lips pressed hard against his mouth and the desperate urge he had felt inside to let things go so much further.

Clearing his throat loudly Adam tore his eyes from Craig. "So I was gonna cook us all a nice meal," he announced, "But then I went to the cupboard…"

Craig looked at him with guilt written all over his face. "I didn't get the shopping in did I?" He admitted, "I knew there was something I was forgetting… I just got so excited… so do we have anything that we can make a meal out of?"

"I might be an excellent cook Craig," Adam told him, "But some things are even beyond MY skills…"

Craig shrugged as he looked at John Paul. "Take away?"

"Sounds great," John Paul said.

"Right I'll go and get it… might as well make use of the car while I've got it."

"I'll come with you."

"Nah no need," Craig told John Paul as he opened the front door again, "You might as well stay and unpack… I've cleared plenty of room for you… although," Craig cast his eyes over John Paul's overstuffed case, "It might not be enough after all… I didn't know you planned on bringing that much!"

"Hey!" John Paul objected with a laugh, "I didn't know what I might need… I have to be prepared!"

Craig laughed as he turned to leave. "So what shall I get? Adam the usual?" Adam nodded his agreement, "John Paul?"

"Surprise me," John Paul said.

"I plan to," Craig told him brushing another kiss across his lips as he left the flat, "As often as I can."

---

Adam stood in the doorway of Craig's bedroom watching as John Paul pulled his carefully folded clothes from his case.

"I could help you if you like," Adam offered.

"No you're alright," John Paul replied without raising his eyes.

Adam sighed. He could hardly blame John Paul's attitude towards him but it was far from an ideal situation if they were going to be living together for some weeks.

"Look," Adam began stepping into the room, "I know what I did last time you were here was stupid…"

The glare in John Paul's eyes as he looked up made Adam hesitate.

"Really stupid," he continued licking his lips nervously, "But I didn't mean any harm… I'm just an idiot…"

"Yeah Craig told me."

"And I'll do anything I can to make it up to you… but we're both gonna be here a lot and it would make it easier if we could get along… especially for Craig's sake."

John Paul felt his anger fade with Adam's words… "for Craig's sake"… he knew that Craig would appreciate it if he could forgive and forget Adam's stupid actions and there was very little he wouldn't do for Craig.

"So how about I help you with the unpacking," Adam offered again, "Or…"

"Or?"

"Or you could just leave it and we could have a beer."

John Paul smiled at Adam, the first genuine smile he had shown the man. He noticed how Adam's eyes seemed to shimmer with an iridescent green and his full pink lips curved gently upwards. John Paul remember how Craig had kissed those lips and looked into those eyes and felt an uncomfortable pang of jealousy tinged with a hint of uncertainty as, for a brief second, he wasn't certain which one of them he felt more jealous of.

"A beer sounds good," John Paul agreed closing the lid to his case and following Adam back into the living room.

---

John Paul took the chilled can of lager from Adam and opened it, taking a long drink as he observed Craig's flatmate. There was something about the man that intrigued him. He wasn't sure if it was his startling good looks or another hidden quality that he couldn't quite name but there was certainly something.

"I'm glad we can be mates," Adam said with a smile as he took a drink.

"Don't push your luck," John Paul laughed, "I've only agreed to be civil!"

"Fair enough, but once you really get to know me you'll realise you just cant resist my charms... just ask Craig he..." Adam stopped mid-sentence realising what he had said, "... Not that he... I mean... I don't mean to imply..."

"It's OK," John Paul reassured him, "Craig told me what happened the night he tried to kiss you."

"He did?"

"Of course, why wouldn't he?"

"I don't know, I just thought... well no... good, that's good that he told you."

"In fact, I wanted to say I was really impressed by the way you handled things."

"How d'you mean?"

"Well you know - most straight blokes would freak out if their gay mate tried something like that."

Adam furrowed his brow. "I don't get what you're saying."

"Well you know," John Paul explained, "A lot of straight blokes assume any gay guy is after them already... so when Craig kissed you..."

"No I understand that," Adam said, "But what I don't get is why you think I'm straight."

John Paul looked at the green-eyed man in surprise. "Well Craig said..." he paused to think, what exactly HAD Craig said about his flatmates sexuality and more importantly what hadn't he said, was he hiding something? "He definitely said something about girlfriends."

"Well yeah," Adam agreed, "I have girlfriends... but I also have boyfriends... I'm bi John Paul."

"OH!" John Paul replied, "I didn't know, Craig never said..."

"I don't know why, unless," Adam let out a laugh and covered his mouth with his hand, "Unless he doesn't realise... I mean I never actually made a big deal of it and..." he laughed again, "Since I've been living with Craig I think I've only ever pulled women! Oh my god no wonder he thought I was being so cool about that kiss!"

John Paul joined Adam's laughter with a sense of relief as he realised that Craig hadn't been keeping this fact from him.

"Hey I'd better make sure you don't try to steal Craig off me," John Paul joked.

Adam took a long drink from his can to hide his discomfort before answering. "I don't think I could if I wanted to," he said, "I don't think anyone could get between you two."

John Paul grinned. "You really think?" he asked.

"I know," Adam insisted, "I've seen the way Craig looks at you… and the way he talks about you… I swear that night he kissed me he'd been talking non-stop about you for hours!"

"Sorry," John Paul said with an uneasy smile.

"Yeah," Adam continued, "By the end of the night I could have told people how many eyelashes you had he went on about your eyes that much…"

"Really?" John Paul felt his cheeks growing warmer with Adam's words.

"Really," Adam confirmed leaning forward and burning the gaze from his bright green eyes into the soft blue of John Paul's, "But I suppose I can understand it… you DO have gorgeous eyes!"

John Paul laughed a little uncomfortably and turned his attention to his drink in order to hide his embarrassment.

"They're not a patch on Craig's," John Paul said.

"Yeah," Adam agreed, "Craig's got good eyes too… and not a bad kisser too I suppose."

Adam held his breath wondering if maybe he had just pushed the conversation too far and watched John Paul's expression carefully to judge the man's reaction.

"Not bad!" John Paul exclaimed with mock indignation, "He's amazing… he was obviously not trying very hard!"

"Well he was really drunk… are you gonna let me try again?"

"Not a chance in hell," John Paul laughed.

The two men were still laughing as Craig struggled to open the door, his hands laden with carrier bags full of assorted take-away boxes.

"Nice to see you two are getting along," he said pleased to see that John Paul had found a way to get past Adam's past behaviour.

Adam looked a John Paul and winked. "Turns out we've got more in common than we expected."

---

Once the food had been consumed and the dishes cleared away, at John Paul's insistence, the three men fell lazily onto the sofa and Craig grabbed for the TV remote control.

Flipping quickly through the channels he stopped on a "B" movie with a triumphant grin.

John Paul sighed. "Your taste in films never does improve does it?" he asked with a laugh.

"Hey!" Craig objected, "This film's a classic… come on Adam back me up here."

"Sorry mate," Adam shrugged, "I'm with John Paul on this one… you watch some serious rubbish!"

"Fine," said Craig with mock indignation as he threw the remote to Adam, "YOU pick something then!"

Adam took the remote and browsed through the channels until he found a comedy that got an approving nod from John Paul at which the remote was discarded as they settle back to watch.

John Paul felt a slight unease sat between his boyfriend and the strangely attractive Adam but as the humour of the show took him over he felt himself relax.

Craig's hand rested casually on John Paul's thigh and he squeezed it on occasion as he leant forward in laughter.

John Paul tilted his head to one side until it came to rest against Craig's. He had never felt so comfortable or relaxed in such a long time and he knew without a doubt that coming to Ireland had been the right decision.

As the credits began to roll Craig stretched out his arms and yawned loudly, a little too loudly.

"What a day," he said yawning again, "It's really taken it out of me."

Adam laughed. "Craig if you want to rush your boyfriend off to your room you really DON'T have to fake tiredness, I'm not your mother!"

Craig grinned with a touch of embarrassment before looking at John Paul and raising his eyebrows in question. John Paul's wide smile was answer enough and Craig got to his feet holding out his hand for his boyfriend to join him.

"Oh and you two," Adam called at their departing backs, "Keep the noise down in there… there are some things I don't need to hear!"

Once the door to the living room had closed Adam let his smile fade from his lips as he sank his face into his hands with a sigh.

Not for the first time he wondered if he should find somewhere else to live, somewhere that didn't have Craig there every day. But that would only leave him with the problem of explaining to Craig his reason for leaving and he wasn't ready for that conversation. Not yet, maybe not ever.

He slumped back against the sofa and let his head fall back. When had this gotten so complicated? When had he first looked at that dark haired man from Chester and seen more than just a friend?

Craig had been in such a mess over his ruined relationship with John Paul when they first met that Adam had been there as his support, offering understanding and encouragement where he could. It was Adam who had helped Craig make his plans to see John Paul again last Christmas and find out if there was anything between them left to salvage. It was Adam that had helped celebrate when Craig had come back with the news that John Paul still loved him and they were together again.

Yet somewhere between that day and this one Adam's feelings had changed.

At some point Adam had found himself watching Craig without realising he was doing it. He would daydream about how it would feel to kiss those soft full lips, to have Craig in his arms and to hold him through the night after making love to him.

At first he just put it down to a passing crush, he'd had them before and they soon passed. But as the days, the weeks and then the months went by he realised that rather than fade away to a pleasant memory the feelings he had were getting stronger.

Adam heard soft laughter coming from the direction of Craig's bedroom and quickly turned up the volume on the TV.

Why did John Paul have to be such a nice guy? Why couldn't he have been someone that Adam could hate? But he wasn't. Under different circumstances Adam could have easily seen himself falling for those stunning blue eyes, if his heart hadn't already been captured by the lure of the deep brown ones.

Even Adam's halfhearted attempt at sabotage during John Paul's first visit to Ireland had only proved to him just how strong the relationship between those two men was. How could he ever get between that? And how could he even try when he saw just how happy Craig was?

Adam felt a weariness wash over him. He desperately needed to sleep, to take away the thoughts of Craig and John Paul, to find some peace in the darkness. But the last thing he could face was his bedroom. The room next door to Craig's. The room where only a wall would separate him from the man he had fallen for. Where he would know that on the other side of that wall Craig was making love to the only man he was ever going to want.

With a defeated sigh Adam let his body collapse full length onto the sofa and closed his eyes.

The TV continued to flicker its images onto his closed eyelids and the sound became a welcome drone in his ears as he felt the welcoming arms of sleep begin to take him. As his consciousness began to leave him Adam's thoughts turned to Craig. He could see those brown eyes before him, looking into his. Craig's lips were parted slightly as he spoke words that Adam couldn't quite hear. Then those lips were against his kissing him, wanting him. The weight of Craig's body pressing him against the wall as Adam's senses reeled at the kiss he had dreamed of for so long.

And just like every other time Adam heard his own words "You really don't want to do this Craig" as he pushed away the man. He couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different if he had taken what he wanted from Craig that night. Would satisfying his desire have freed him from this torment? Or would it more likely have caused him greater grief, as Craig would surely have regretted his actions, and their friendship would have been permanently scarred.

With sleep finally sweeping Adam into peace as soft smile played on his lips as the memory of Craig's kiss lingered quietly in his mind.

---

John Paul ran his fingertips lightly over the soft tanned skin of Craig's bare arm as it rested on the duvet. His eyes followed the path of his hand before returning to look back into the beautiful brown gaze that was observing him.

He wasn't sure how long they had been lying like this, in a gentle silence, just taking the time to enjoy being together. It could have been a minute or an hour or even an eternity. Time had lost all meaning as John Paul and Craig lay together in perfect contentment.

All to often their time together had been rushed and desperate. Grabbing moments where and when they could and fighting against what sometimes seemed impossible odds to find time to be together. But at last in Ireland things were different. There was nobody around to disapprove or to judge them, there was no fear of getting caught and there was no need to worry that their time would be cut short. There was just the two of them and they had all the time in the world, all the time they needed just to enjoy being who they were.

"I never…" Craig spoke but then lowered his gaze without finishing his thought.

"What?" John Paul prompted as he touched his hand against the smoothness of Craig's cheek.

"It's just… I never… I mean..." Craig took a moment to stare into the hypnotic blue of John Paul's eyes that were shining brightly in the half-light of the room. "I never knew this was how it would feel."

"What?"

"I thought I knew what love felt like before with…" Craig paused and they both knew it was Sarah's name that was meant to fill that gap. "But now… with you… it's different… it's more… Oh I don't know what it is I'm trying to say."

John Paul smiled as he touched his lips softly against Craig's. "It's like I didn't even know half of me was missing until I found you," he said quietly.

Craig nodded. "That's it exactly," he said, "And I just can't imagine my life without you in it."

"That's just as well," John Paul told him, "Coz you're not getting rid of me this time!"

They both laughed as their fingers entwined above the warmth of the bed covers.

"I wonder if things would have been different if I hadn't set that fire alarm off?" John Paul mused.

"You saved me from a good kicking that day," Craig told him, "And you've been looking after me ever since."

"And I always will," John Paul promised.

"I thought you were a bit odd at first!"

"I just thought you were cute."

"Even back then?"

"Even back then… I just wasn't ready to understand why."

"And now?"

John Paul laughed. "Oh I still think you're cute," he said with a grin, "and incredibly sexy!"

"Sexy eh?" Craig said raising his eyebrows.

"Incredibly sexy," John Paul corrected.

"Nah I don't think you mean that," Craig said with a mock pout.

"No?"

"No, you really need to prove it to me."

"And how should I do that?" John Paul asked as he moved his body closer to Craig's until he could feel the heat radiating from the other mans skin.

"I'm sure you can think of something," Craig replied as he slipped his hand behind John Paul's neck and pulled him close kissing the beautiful lips that he had been watching all evening.

Craig's kiss began softly, exploring John Paul's full lips with the tip of his tongue, tasting him and savouring every inch of that delicate flesh. As John Paul's lips parted allowing Craig access their kiss deepened, their bodies pressed tightly together as their combined need grew.

"What have you done to me?" Craig panted as the incredible desire in him grew.

"I haven't done anything," John Paul laughed softly as he covered Craig's mouth in tiny kisses.

"You have," Craig told him taking John Paul's face in his hands and looking into the intense depths of his eyes, "You've change my life… completely."

"For the better?"

"Definitely," Craig confirmed, "I think I've been waiting my whole life for you to show me who I am."

John Paul ran this thumb over the curve of Craig's lips. "You're the man I love," he said simply.

"I love you too," Craig smiled pulling John Paul closer to him, feeling the hardness of John Paul pressing into him, "And I want you… so much…"

As their mouths pressed firmly together again Craig slid his hand slowly down John Paul's side, over his hip and across his belly until it reached his cock making John Paul gasp quietly as his touch.

"Craig…" John Paul's voice was hushed as Craig's fingers curled tightly around him sending tremors though his body.

Craig's lips covered John Paul's as his hand began to caress the length of his cock and he felt the vibrations of John Paul's soft moans in his mouth as he grew harder at Craig's insistent touch.

John Paul's fingers gripped tightly onto Craig's body, holding onto him with desperate need as the touch of Craig's hands sent his passion soaring.

Holding Craig's shoulders John Paul pushed the man onto his back. He paused for a moment to look into the rich brown eyes below him, they shone with a mixture of love and lust that made John Paul's heart race and his cock throb hard in Craig's firm grip.

John Paul lowered his mouth to Craig's, kissing it briefly before running a trail of kisses over his throat and chest, pausing to nibble gently on his nipples and then continuing downwards to the increased sounds of Craig's moans.

Craig gasped loudly as he felt the heat from John Paul's breath brush over his cock making it jump in its eagerness for attention, but the touch of John Paul's lips passed over it all too briefly as they moved to Craig's thighs, his teeth biting gently into the soft flesh and his tongue trailing in circles over the skin.

"God John Paul…" Craig whimpered as his cock ached for the feel of John Paul's soft lips and the enveloping heat of his mouth.

John Paul teased at Craig's skin a little longer before letting the tip of his tongue run along the underside of Craig's cock all the way to its head and then down again, his warm tongue lapping seductively at Craig's scrotum making him whimper even louder.

After covering Craig's cock in kisses John Paul pressed his lips to its very tip, tasting the droplets of precum that he found there before letting his mouth open slowly and easing Craig's cock inside.

Craig's eyes were closed tightly and his back arched as his cock sank into the rich heat of John Paul's mouth. John Paul's tongue ran over it as he sucked the hard flesh deeper into him, moving his lips slowly over the length of Craig's cock, taking him inside as deeply as he could before pulling back until only the very tip of his cock was covered by his mouth.

John Paul kneaded the flesh of Craig's thighs as he continued to suck deeply on the pulsing cock in his mouth, the sounds of Craig's sighs and moans were an erotic orchestra to his ears making his own cock throb heavily with desire.

Craig's breathing began to shake as John Paul pleasured his body so expertly that he felt certain that his lust would explode from him at any second.

Without warning John Paul released Craig's cock from his mouth, turning his face to look up at Craig with a smile playing across the lips that had been causing so much excitement.

John Paul moved his way up Craig's body and then rested one hand on either side of him touching his lips against Craig's before whispering quietly into his ear.

"I want you so much Craig," he said, his breath hot against Craig's neck, "I've never wanted anyone this much before… I can hardly stand how much I want to feel you inside me."

Craig pulled John Paul's body down on top of him, the hardness of their cocks pressing together under his weight as Craig slipped his tongue into John Paul's open mouth, tasting every inch of him.

John Paul pushed himself upright until he was sat straddling Craig's thighs, he ran his hand over Craig's cock, pressing it hard against his own, feeling them both throb excitedly in his grip.

"Have you got any…?"

Craig's head indicated the bedside cabinet. John Paul leaned over and slid the drawer open, laughing at what he saw inside.

"Was there a special offer?" he asked pulling out a bottle of lube that had been nestled amongst several others in the drawer.

"Well you're gonna be here a long time," Craig reasoned, "I wanted to be prepared!"

"And we don't want to let them go to waste!" John Paul laughed as he flipped the bottle's lid and poured some of its cool oily contents on the head of Craig's cock.

Craig's gasped as he felt the liquid drip down the length of his cock. John Paul's hand gripped the slippery erection, spreading the oil smoothly over its entirety, coating it completely as it pulsed urgently against his palm.

Raising himself to his knees John Paul moved forwards a few inches and, still holding firmly onto Craig's cock, he lowered him slowly until he felt the head of the oiled cock pressing against his entrance.

He never took his eyes from Craig's as he eased himself downwards, his body slowly opening to Craig's cock as it pushed inside him. Craig resisted the urge to push upwards, to drive himself deep inside, as the slow tantalising decent of John Paul's body hot and tight around him was more exquisite that he could have ever imagined.

John Paul let a small moan escape from his lips as he felt Craig's cock sinking deeply inside him. The familiar pleasure of his body being filled in such a way seemed multiplied as he finally came to rest against Craig's lap, the hardness of Craig's cock fully engulfed inside him.

"Oh god John Paul…" Craig could find no words to explain what he was feeling as the intensity of being so deep inside this amazing man was more than he could ever explain or even understand himself.

John Paul lifted himself again. His movements still slow and deliberate as he began to rise and fall, his body holding Craig's cock tightly whilst yielding to its insistent presence.

Craig sank his fingers into John Paul's hips, raising himself up to meet the descent of John Paul's body and pushing himself in deeper with each meeting.

As he continued to move up and down the length of Craig's cock John Paul leaned forward to press his mouth against Craig's lips, kissing him deeply and pushing his tongue into the welcome of Craig's mouth.

Craig wrapped his arms around John Paul's back, gripping at his buttocks as they rose and fell against him and allowed himself to be pulled upright as John Paul leant back snaking his arms around Craig and pressing their bodies hard together, trapping his cock between them.

John Paul began to move faster against Craig, the friction of their bodies rubbing delightfully against his cock as he moved and the sensation of Craig buried deep inside him making his body shake with desire.

Craig held his lover close as he thrust deep inside him. Until John Paul he had never know how intense sex could be or how perfect it could feel. Until John Paul it had only ever been sex but now he had learned the difference between having sex and making love and it was something he never intended to live without again.

John Paul could already feel the pressure building inside him at the thrust of Craig's cock and the force of their bodies rubbing against his own. As if on cue Craig pushed his hand between them, holding firmly onto John Paul's cock and stroking it in time with the rise and fall of his body.

Resting his head against Craig's shoulder John Paul let the sensations of his flesh wash over him. With each thrust Craig's cock brushed against that spot deep inside that sent sparks shooting through John Paul's body and at the same time Craig's hand caressed his cock with such perfection that he could not resist its demands.

"Oh god Craig I…" John Paul's words were lost as he moaned with pleasure, his cock throbbing in Craig's hand as it begged for release.

Craig whispered John Paul's name over and over as he felt his own climax rising inside him with a force no one else had ever been able to bring out of him.

John Paul's fingers grabbed at Craig back as his moans grew, his body trembling until he could hold back no longer and with a cry he gave in to his need, his cock spilling hotly over Craig's tight grip and covering both their bodies as he came, so hard that he thought he might never stop.

The contractions of John Paul's body around Craig's cock as he came made Craig whimper in pleasure. As he felt John Paul's orgasm subside Craig released his cock and wrapped both arms tightly around his back, urging his movements harder and faster until, thrusting himself hard into John Paul, Craig released his lust crying out as he came deep inside the body of the man he adored.

Slowly the motion of their bodies came to a rest, their heads leaning together and their brows damp with perspiration.

"God that was amazing," Craig gasped lifting his face to look at John Paul's.

"I love you so much Craig Dean," John Paul told him with tears in his eyes, "Don't you ever forget that."

"You just make sure you're always around to remind me," Craig replied brushing away a tear that had tumbled down John Paul's cheek, "Coz I don't think I could cope without you anymore."

"Always," John Paul promised kissing his lover gently, "For the rest of my life."


	4. Chapter 4

Craig looked down at Adam's sleeping form with a smile. It seemed his flatmate hadn't even managed to make it to his bed and had fallen asleep on the sofa.

"Oy wake up," Craig said as he kicked the sofas leg, "John Paul's gonna cook us breakfast… you don't want to miss out."

Adam rubbed his eyes and stared blurrily at Craig. "I thought we had no food in," he mumbled.

"Some of us have already been out to the shops," Craig told him, "Now get up… food will be on the table in 10 minutes."

Adam pulled himself upright as Craig left the room. Why did his head feel so bad and his eyes feel full of sand? They hadn't been drinking last night and yet his body felt as if he was suffering the worst hangover in history.

As he ran his hands through his hair Adam sighed sadly. During the night he had raised himself from the sofa in a desperate need for the bathroom and, as he returned, he had heard voices coming from Craig's room. Without meaning to he had paused by Craig's door and listened long enough to hear declarations of love being exchanged between the two men inside the room.

Adam had rushed back to the sofa with tears running down his face. Why had he stopped to listen? He had already known how those two felt about each other but listening in on such an intimate exchange hammered the fact painfully into his heart. He had buried his face into the cushion and made no attempt to stop the tears as his body shook with silent sobs. He wasn't sure how long he had wept until exhaustion had finally taken hold of him and given him the sweet escape of sleep.

Adam bit his lip at the memory, desperately holding back a fresh flood of tears as he got to his feet. At least it explained why he felt so bad this morning.

"One egg or two?" John Paul asked cheerfully as Adam took his seat at the small table in the centre of the kitchen.

"One's fine," Adam replied not quite able to look John Paul in the eye.

He had thought that he had no appetite but, as John Paul placed the plate of food in front of him, Adam felt his stomach rumble its approval.

"Enjoy," John Paul said squeezing Adam's shoulder lightly as he returned to grab the other two plates.

The three men ate quietly for a while, the only sounds being the scrape of knives and forks against their plates and the occasional appreciative murmur.

"Oh Adam," Craig mumbled around a mouth full of bacon, "Me and John Paul are planning to go out for a few drinks tonight, fancy joining us."

Adam smiled at the invitation. "Great," he thought to himself, "What better way to pass the evening than in the company of the man I can't stop thinking about and his boyfriend… and after that I might just go and stick red hot needles in my eyes… really make a night of it…"

"Sounds like fun," Adam heard his voice saying, "Count me in." He winced inwardly at his own acceptance and wondered why hadn't he simply told Craig that he had already made plans?

---

"Craig!" The dark haired landlady called out enthusiastically as the three men entered the pub, "I take it you've brought my car back in one piece?"

"Of course," Craig reassured her as he dropped the keys into her open hand, "And thanks so much for lending it to me Linda… I really appreciated it."

"Ahhh who am I to stand in the way of true love?" she laughed as she turned her attention to Craig's companions. "And you are obviously John Paul," she said looking at his gently sculptured features, "I'd recognise you anywhere, Craig's shown us all enough photos!"

"Nice to meet you," John Paul said as his cheeks flushed an embarrassed pink.

"And so polite," Linda continued as she walked out from behind the bar. "Welcome back to Ireland," she said placing her hands on John Paul's shoulders and kissing his cheek, "Sorry that I missed you last time you were here but I understand you helped Craig look after the place."

John Paul blush deepened at Linda's words and the memory of just HOW he had helped Craig. But there was something about this woman that he took an instant liking too and, despite his embarrassment, he found himself grinning widely at her.

"Well I did my best," John Paul said with a laugh.

"You're obviously doing something right, love," Linda said patting his cheek, "I've never seen our Craig look so happy… and he was a right misery when he first started working here!"

"Hey I AM stood right here," Craig objected.

"And you know I'm right," Linda said affectionately, "Good job this lad gave you another chance… your face was turning the beer sour!"

Craig took hold of John Paul's hand and squeezed it. "I don't know where I'd be if he hadn't," he said quietly.

Adam shuffled uncomfortably until Linda shooed them away to a table.

"Go on," she said with a smile, "I'll bring your drinks over."

"Now that's service," Craig joked.

"Nothing's too much trouble for my favourite barman and his lovely fella," Linda said, "Oh and you too Adam…"

---

As the drink flowed Adam slowly felt himself begin to relax. He was always happy in Craig's company and the only difference now was another man sat at the table with them.

"Anyone fancy a game of pool?" he asked looking across the room at the empty pool table.

John Paul spluttered into his drink in a vain attempt to hide his laughter.

"John Paul's not much of a pool player," Craig laughed as his eyes flashed mischievously at his boyfriend.

"What Craig MEANS is that I'm too good and he always has to rely on dirty tricks to cheat," John Paul said unable to tear his eyes away from Craig's laughing face.

"So is that an no then?" Adam asked realising that he had stumbled across some private joke that he was not allowed knowledge of.

"Nah come on," John Paul said getting to his feet and holding out his hand to Craig, "Let's see if you can manage a real game for once."

"You're on," Craig agreed taking John Paul's hand and following him across the room, "But don't go crying when I wipe the floor with you!"

Adam sighed as he stood up and watched the two lovers laughing as they began to set up the table. Suddenly he felt very alone and wondered if they would even notice if he didn't join them.

---

Five games in and John Paul placed his cue down on the table in triumph.

"Ready to admit defeat yet?" he asked Craig with a grin.

"Fine… you win…" Craig conceded, "But it's only coz you spend to much time playing while I'm working!"

John Paul kissed Craig softly. "Now don't be a sore loser," he said teasingly.

"What about you Adam, fancy another game of have you had enough too?" John Paul's brow furrowed as he looked over at the green-eyed man.

Adam was swaying slightly on his feet and his eyes had an unfocused look about them. John Paul didn't understand how Adam could be so much more intoxicated when they had all had the same number of drinks. Of course what he didn't know what just how many shots of straight vodka Adam had consumed each time it had been his turn to go to the bar. Swallowing down the neat liquid in an attempt to quench the awful burning in his chest that he felt every time Craig looked at John Paul, his eyes filled with uncompromising love.

Even now, with the alcohol running richly through his veins the terrible ache was still there as sharp as it had been before he had taken his first drink, the numbing effect of the vodka seemed to pass this pain by.

"My round I think," Craig said getting to his feet and squeezing John Paul's hand before he left.

John Paul took his seat and Adam slumped down heavily onto the cushion next to him.

"You OK?" John Paul asked with concern.

"Me?" Adam replied with faked cheerfulness, "Couldn't be better… few beers and good mates, what more could I ask for?"

"So what's really bothering you?"

Adam tried to shrug off the question but at the last second his eyes sought out the figure of Craig at the bar making his wince as if he had been physically struck.

"You're very lucky," Adam slurred turning his eyes to John Paul, "He really loves you…"

"I know," John Paul replied, "I'd be lost without him."

"I've seen the way he looks at you. It's like… it's like sometimes you're the only thing he can see…"

"He's my world," John Paul said looking straight into the pained green of Adam's eyes, "And I'll do anything it takes to protect him… to keep him."

Adam's eyes dropped to the floor, "You know don't you?" he whispered.

"It's been obvious for a while," John Paul said quietly, "It's written all over your face."

"Does he know?" Adam asked looking over to Craig again.

"Oh you know Craig," John Paul told him with a smile, "He doesn't think enough of himself to even imagine that two men could be in love with him… especially not one that he still thinks is straight!"

"Are you gonna tell him?"

"Do I need to? Do you plan on doing anything about it?"

"God no," Adam looked quickly at John Paul the sincerity burning in his eyes, "I know what you two have got… I don't want to… I wouldn't want to… hell I couldn't come between that even if I tried…"

"Because if you ever do try anything…" John Paul left his thought unfinished but they both knew that John Paul was not to be crossed, not when it came to Craig.

"I won't," Adam promised, "And I'm sorry, really I am."

John Paul took Adam's hand in his and squeezed it gently. "You think I don't understand what you're going through?" he asked gently, "Coz I do… I was in love with him for so long before he ever knew… and it was even longer before he could admit he felt the same way."

Adam nodded gratefully, relieved that he had finally been able to confess his hidden feelings and even more relieved that John Paul was the understanding man he had believed him to be.

"Here we are then," Craig happy voice broke the silence that had fallen between his two companions and John Paul let go of Adam's hand as soon as he realised he was still holding it. "What's with the long faces?" Craig asked noticing the expressions on his friends faces, "We're supposed to be having a fun night out."

John Paul laughed as he took hold of his drink. "We were just wondering how long you were gonna be with the drinks," he joked, "Right Adam?"

"Right," Adam agreed smiling his thanks at John Paul, "You'd think this places favourite barman would get preferential service!"

"Ahh well don't like to push in," Craig grinned, "Except for here, come on budge up." With that he pushed his way onto the cushion between Adam and John Paul as both men moved to let him in.

"So what were you talking about?" Craig asked as he took a drink.

"You actually," John Paul told him. Adam felt his breath catch in his throat at John Paul's words and his fingers shook as they held his drink.

"Really?" Craig asked with amusement.

"Yeah," John Paul confirmed, "We were just saying what a rubbish pool player you are!"

----

"Just how DID he get in this state?" Craig asked as he and John Paul half carried, half dragged, Adam through the streets of Dublin, "He's not normally this much of a light weight."

"I dunno," John Paul lied as he held on to the drunken man tightly.

"It's times like this I wish I had a car of my own."

"Yeah but you've been drinking too… so that wouldn't really help would it?"

"Well yeah," Craig conceded, "But still…"

John Paul laughed. "That's your entire argument," he teased, "But still!"

"Well it's late," Craig complained, "And I'm lugging a drunken mate home... Come on Adam, at least help us out a bit here mate."

Adam mumbled incoherently as he attempted to get his footing but quickly stumbled and slumped back into the arms holding him upright.

"It's gonna be a long walk home," Craig sighed adjusting his grip around Adam's waist, "Thank god you're here to help me."

John Paul smiled over the head of the drunken man between them. "I'll always be here when you need me," he said, "You know that."

---

"Thank god," Craig sighed in relief as they finally heaved the semi-conscious Adam onto his bed, "I thought we'd never make it."

"He's gonna feel so rough in the morning," John Paul said sympathetically as he looked at the dishevelled form strewn across the bed.

"Serves him right," Craig replied, "What on earth possessed him to get himself this drunk?"

John Paul chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully, he knew exactly what lay behind Adam's decision to try and drink himself into oblivion but it was a reason he wasn't about to share with Craig.

"You don't think…" John Paul paused as he considered his words carefully so that he didn't give too much away, "You don't think the two of us bothers him do you?"

"He's not homophobic if that's what you mean…"

"Nah I don't mean that… but what with him being single… maybe seeing us so happy is making him feel a bit left out."

"I can't see that," Craig laughed as he pulled Adam's shoes off and dropped them to the floor, "He's had more women than I could count…"

"And how many of them have lasted more than one night?"

Craig considered for a moment. "None that I can really remember," he admitted "D'you think we should undress him?"

John Paul laughed. "I don't think he'd appreciate that… just pull the cover over him and let him sleep."

As Craig pulled the duvet around his drunken friend Adam's eyes fluttered open.

"Craig…" he slurred with a lopsided smile.

"Alright mate?" Craig said gently, "You get some sleep, you've had one too many."

"I love you Craig," Adam said clumsily brushing his hand against Craig's cheek.

"Yeah love you too mate," Craig replied taking the hand and tucking it under the covers.

John Paul felt an irrational surge of jealousy run through his veins. An image came unbidden to his mind, a memory from so long ago, a drunken Craig holding onto the lapels of his rented tuxedo and saying that he loved him. It had been the first time Craig had spoken those words to John Paul and, despite the actions that followed, it was a moment it time that John Paul treasured. Even though he knew that Craig's love for Adam was purely platonic he couldn't help but wonder if it was a love he had spoken of before, if Adam had his own treasured memory of the first time Craig used the word to him.

He tried to push the jealousy from his mind as they left Adam's room.

"He MUST be drunk to have said that," Craig said laughing.

"But you still said it back," John Paul replied a little more bitterly than he intended.

"Well what did you want me to say," Craig began before noticing the look in John Paul's eyes, "Oh my god, you're not jealous are you?"

John Paul felt his cheeks flush. "Well he is very good looking," he reasoned.

"Yeah I suppose he is," Craig agreed, "Why else d'you think I picked him to move in here!"

John Paul starred at Craig in astonishment. "You mean you fancy him?"

"Maybe I did when I first met him," Craig said honestly, "I mean I was alone in a strange city… a strange country, the person I loved was far away and I didn't think I'd ever see him again… I needed something to cheer myself up…"

"So what happened?"

"How d'you mean..?"

"When he moved in… did anything come of you fancying him?"

"You really ARE jealous," Craig struggled to hold back his laughter, "Well if you must know the first night he moved in we sat in the living room had a few beers and…"

"And?"

"And I told him all about you… and it's been like that ever since… even when you're not here you're still a presence in this flat. Besides he's straight remember…"

"And what if he wasn't?"

"What is all this John Paul… where's it coming from?"

"Just tell me… what if he wasn't straight… what if he was gay… or, or bi… what then?"

"I don't know… but he isn't so it doesn't matter."

"It matters to me… what if, before us, before Christmas, what if he'd come to you… wanted you…would you have slept with him then?"

"Yeah maybe I don't know… I was lost without you and I made a lot of stupid choices… but Adam wasn't one of them…"

"And now?"

"And now what?"

"What if he came to you now… when I wasn't here… told you that he wanted you… would you sleep with him now?"

"No of course I wouldn't," Craig gripped John Paul arms tightly, his lover's soft blue eyes seemed tormented by something that he couldn't understand and it tore at his heart to see it, "There's only you now… you know that. Tell me where this is all coming from John Paul, I can't bare to see you like this."

John Paul felt his jealousy begin to melt away under the concerned gaze of Craig's deep brown eyes. "It's nothing," he said quietly, "Just the beer talking… just forget it… really…"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah… it's just…"

"Just what?"

"Sometimes I get so scared that I'm gonna lose you again… that you're gonna wake up one morning and realise that you don't really want me… I don't think I could go through that again."

"Oh John Paul," the pain is his lovers voice brought tears to Craig eyes and he pulled John Paul into his arms. "It's never gonna happen," he promised, "You and me… we're for keeps… loving you is the only thing that's keeping me sane… knowing that after Uni there will be nothing left to keep us apart."

"You promise?" John Paul whispered into Craig's neck, breathing in the scent of the man, the sensual fragrance that he knew so well.

Craig released his hold on John Paul and stepped back to look at him. Staring into the pale blue of John Paul's beautiful eyes always took Craig's breath away but to look into them and see this anguish and uncertainty caused him physical pain.

"I love you," he said slowly, emphasising the words and meaning them more than he ever had before, "You're my life John Paul, don't ever doubt that… without you I wouldn't have any reason to carry on."

"I'm sorry Craig I'm just being silly aren't I?"

"I just wish you would tell me where all this is coming from… please John Paul tell me what's made you think like this…"

"It doesn't matter," John Paul said quietly, "Just hold me and let me know everything will be OK."

Craig enveloped John Paul in his open arms and held him tightly, kissing the top of his head gently.

"Everything is fine," he breathed into John Paul soft hair, "We're together and everything is fine."

Craig's eyes stared blankly at the wall behind John Paul's head as he held his boyfriend close. Something had caused John Paul to doubt him and he wasn't going to rest until he found out what it was.

---

It was a decidedly pale Adam that staggered into the kitchen the next afternoon.

He held his head in pain and groaned pitifully.

"I need water and aspirin," he whimpered, "And a new head." He sat down and rested his forehead against the cool wooden table. "Oh scrap that," he moaned, "Just kill me now!"

Craig laughed with little sympathy for his friend. "Feeling a bit rough are we," he asked, "Fancy a fry up?"

Adam groaned a little louder and raised his head to look at his friend, wincing as the bright light pierced his brain.

John Paul filled a tumbler with water and set it on the table in front of Adam. The man took the glass and drank it gratefully. He looked at John Paul with a frown certain that there was something he should remember but couldn't quite put his finger on it. Had he done something? Said something? An uncomfortable uncertainty niggled at the back of his mind.

"Exactly how drunk was I last night?" he asked.

"Well we had to pretty much carry you home," Craig laughed.

"Shit, I didn't make an idiot of myself did I?"

"Not too much," Craig assured him, "Oh apart from telling me that you loved me that is!"

If Adam hadn't already been deathly white the colour would have drained from his face. He turned his eyes to John Paul and the memory of his confession the previous evening came flooding back to him. Had he really gone and admitted his love for Craig… to Craig's boyfriend?

"God I must have really been wasted," Adam replied with a forced laugh.

"Yeah that's what I said," Craig agreed patting his friend on the shoulder, "I'll get you the aspirin."

As Craig left the room Adam looked carefully at John Paul. "I guess I said some pretty stupid things last night," he said quietly.

"Yeah just a few," John Paul agreed as he refilled Adam's glass and then took a seat at the table facing him, "But it doesn't stop them being true."

Adam sank his face into his hands. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I should never have said anything, I'm really sorry..."

"It's OK," John Paul assured him. Taking hold of one of Adam's hands he pulled it from his face and looked into the pained blood-shot green eyes. "I'm glad you told me," John Paul said, "I was starting to think I was being paranoid."

"Have you said anything to him?"

"Of course not... I said I wouldn't didn't I?"

"I don't really remember!"

"I'm not surprised," John Paul laughed softly, "In fact I'm surprised you remember anything at all."

"Did I really tell him I loved him?"

"Yeah, but it's OK, he just assumed it was the booze talking."

"Thank god."

"Here you go," Craig said brightly placing a bottle on the table, "Aspirin."

"Thanks," Adam replied snatching up the bottle and taking hold of his drink. "If anyone needs me I'll be in my room... dying!"

"Poor sod," Craig said as Adam staggered back to his room, "Just make sure I never get that wasted will you?"

John Paul got to his feet, slipped his arms around Craig's waist and rested his head on his boyfriends shoulder. "Well even if you did I'd be here to look after you," He promised kissing Craig's neck softly.

"Yeah?" Craig asked as he turned in the circle of John Paul's arms to look into the deep blue of his eyes, "Might be worth getting sick just to have you look after me."

John Paul laughed and kissed Craig playfully. "Just don't expect me to wear a nurses' uniform," he joked.

"Shame," Craig complained, "It would have suited you."

Craig smiled as he pulled John Paul close to him. Whatever had been troubling the man the previous evening seemed to have passed but Craig was still determined to find out exactly what had upset him in the first place.

---

Adam opened his eyes a fraction at the sound of his bedroom door. He didn't know how long he had slept but the pain in his head had subsided to a dull throb and the nausea no longer made him feel like rushing for the bathroom.

"How you feeling mate?" Craig asked as he tiptoed into the room.

"Well you can call off the funeral," Adam replied, "But I don't think I'll be up for another drinking session for a day or two!"

"It wasn't supposed to be a drinking session in the first place."

"Yeah, I know… sorry… I hope I didn't ruin your night…"

"You're forgiven… just this once." Craig sat on the edge of Adam's bed and looked at his friend. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what's up?"

Craig looked at his fingers for a moment before answering. "Did something happen last night?"

"Something what?"

"I'm not sure," Craig looked at Adam again and the man could see worry in the deep brown of his eyes. "Did anybody say anything to John Paul when I wasn't there?"

"You're asking ME to remember things that happened last night? What's going on?"

"I'm not sure, it might be nothing… so you don't remember anyone talking to John Paul… about me… not at all?"

Adam felt a growing dread in the pit of his stomach as his nausea began to return.

"Sorry mate, not that I know of… why, has John Paul said something?"

"Not as such," Craig said chewing on his bottom lip, "It's just the way he was acting when we got back last night… like someone had upset him… or… I dunno, said something to make him doubt me… and I just want to know what it was and more importantly who said it!"

Adam swallowed hard to force down the bile he could feel rising in his throat. "No… I… I can't think of anything… you sure it wasn't just the drink?"

"Yeah maybe," Craig said unconvincingly as he got to his feet, "Anyway you get some more sleep… you still look like crap!"

"Thanks," Adam replied as Craig turned to go.

Adam sank his head into his pillow with a sigh and, not for the first time that day, he berated himself for getting so drunk that he felt the need to confess his feelings to John Paul. Maybe John Paul had suspected something but that was hardly a reason to admit things was it? And now it seemed that not only had he been so blatantly stupid but he had also caused problems for the one person he never wanted to hurt.

He wasn't sure if there was even a way to fix things now but, as soon as he felt human again, Adam decided he was going to try his best to do just that… whatever it took.

---

Craig sighed resting his head on John Paul's shoulder as John Paul sat at a slight angle with his legs over Craig's thighs. It was getting late but both men felt too comfortable to move.

Craig sighed again.

"What's wrong?" John Paul asked.

"I was just thinking," Craig replied, "I can't believe you've been here for three weeks already…"

"I know," John Paul agreed, "It feels like I've only just arrived."

"And before long you'll be…"

"Don't," John Paul interrupted, "Don't say it… not yet… I'm not ready to think about that yet."

Craig ran his hand softly over John Paul's leg. "Nor me," he said, "I want to pretend that you're gonna be here forever…"

"One day," John Paul said quietly as he covered Craig's hand with his own and squeezed it gently, "One day…"

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, content to do nothing more than be together, until Craig spoke again.

"D'you think Adam's OK?" He asked with a hint of concern.

"How d'you mean?"

"Well we've not seen much of him recently… and when he is here he seems really quiet."

It was true, Adam had been out of the flat more often that he had been home over the past few weeks and, although John Paul appreciated the effort he was making, it still made him feel sorry for the man when he noticed the haunted look in Adam's eyes.

"I think he's just giving us some time alone," John Paul reasoned, "Or maybe he's met someone!"

"Yeah you're probably right… but not about him meeting someone, he'd have told me… he always does."

"Really? Always?"

"Oh yeah, in detail… sometimes a bit too much detail." Craig laughed, "Besides I can tell when he's got the hots for someone, he's not very good at hiding his feelings!"

John Paul nearly laughed out loud at Craig's comment. Craig thought that he knew his flatmate so well but the one fact that was blindingly obvious to John Paul seemed to have passed Craig by completely.

Craig pushed John Paul's legs from him as he jumped to his feet and held his hand out.

"Come on," he said with a grin.

"What?"

"Let's go out…"

"Craig it's nearly midnight."

"So? You're on holiday…"

"And where exactly are we gonna go at this hour?"

Craig's eyes sparkled richly as his grin widened.

"No Craig we can't," John Paul objected unconvincingly.

"Come on… live a little…" Craig insisted.

"It'll be locked…"

"So?"

"You are a very bad influence you know that don't you," John Paul joked.

"But you wouldn't change me for the world," Craig replied as he pressed a lingering kiss to John Paul's lips.

"No I wouldn't," John Paul answered, "Not for anything."

"See, I told you it would be locked," John Paul said as his hand rested against the cool, rusty wrought iron gates.

"A minor detail," Craig replied as he surveyed the wall, "Come on…"

John Paul followed Craig along the wall until he stopped at an area that had fallen into disrepair, a number of bricks had been pushed from the top of the wall and they made an ideal step for the two men to hoist themselves over it.

"If we get arrested I AM going to tell them this was all your fault," John Paul warned with a smile.

"They'll have to catch me first," Craig called as he raced off into the darkness of the empty park.

"Craig wait…" John Paul called as Craig disappeared into the night's shadows before setting off after him.

John Paul didn't need to see where Craig was as he already knew exactly where he was headed and, as he reached their tree, he saw Craig leaning against it. His eyes glistened in the moonlight as he watched John Paul approach.

The laughter between them faded as John Paul got closer. The air felt heavy and rich with the fragrances of the night and the moonlight reflecting in John Paul's eyes gave them a mystical quality.

John Paul's hands reached for Craig's face, touching it gently, exploring its soft curves and worshiping its beauty.

The park was wrapped in a blanket of silence that John Paul felt loathe to break as he whispered softly so that Craig could only just hear him.

"Sometimes, when we're apart I want nothing more than to touch you like this… and when I close my eyes I can see you as clearly as I can right now."

Craig turned his face into John Paul's hand, kissing the palm softly. It could have been the moonlight making his eyes shine so brightly or the unshed tears that caused them to shimmer in the dark.

"John Paul… if I didn't know that one day we'd be together…" Craig voice cracked as he spoke.

"We're together now," John Paul said taking a step forward and pulling Craig against him.

Craig's mouth sought John Paul's with urgency, with a need to connect with the man holding him and to savour every second of him while he had the chance.

Craig's cheeks felt damp with tears as John Paul pulled back from the kiss and he brushed them away with a smile.

"So we seem to be underneath a tree again," John Paul said with a grin.

"We certainly do," Craig agreed, John Paul's smile reflected in his own, "And I'm sure there was a reason for that…"

Craig took hold of John Paul shoulders and spun him around until his back came to rest against the tree trunk.

"Now I remember," Craig laughed as he leaned in to press his mouth hard against John Paul lips, kissing him with a passion he had only ever known for this gorgeous man.

The feel of Craig's lips against his sent John Paul's senses reeling as he pulled at Craig's light summer shirt and slipped his hands underneath to touch the softness of his skin.

Craig pressed his body hard against John Paul's, pushing the man up firmly against the tree in his desperation to be as close to his lover as was physically possible.

John Paul could feel his cock straining against the tough fabric of his jeans as the heat of Craig pushed against it. Craig's hands poured down his sides, moving over him in a single fluid motion and awakening each inch of John Paul's body that they passed over until his whole being tingled with excitement.

Craig quickly unfastened John Paul's jeans making the man gasp as his hand, cooled by the early morning air, made contact with his responsive flesh. John Paul's fingers gripped onto Craig to steady himself as Craig touched him with a skill and certainty that only time and care could have mastered.

Within a matter of minutes John Paul felt certain that he knees would buckle, such was the intense pleasure that Craig was managing to arouse as he gripped and stroked John Paul's cock.

Craig paused to look into the deepness of John Paul's blue eyes and saw in them a love and desire that made him feel more blessed than he believed he deserved.

He smiled at John Paul before slowly sinking to his knees before him. The grass was soft and damp beneath him but Craig paid no attention to such matters as John Paul's proud cock stood to attention in front of him.

Running his hand lightly over its length again Craig teased his lover with the tip of his tongue. Tasting lightly at the sensitive head of John Paul's cock Craig ran his tongue along its shaft to the increased sounds of John Paul's breaths.

John Paul gripped onto Craig's shoulders as his mouth continued to pass over him, the heat from it making John Paul ache but at the same time not wanting to end this exquisite torment.

Craig's lips parted as he leant forward against John Paul's cock and slowly eased the member into his mouth. John Paul couldn't tear his eyes from the sight of Craig knelt before him taking his cock deep into the intense heat of his mouth. Craig's cheeks hollowed as he sucked gently on its firmness whilst continuing to caress it with his tongue and lips.

John Paul ran his hands through the softness of Craig's hair with affection as the man pleasured him with intensity until he could hardly bear how good it felt.

Holding firmly onto the base of John Paul's cock Craig sucked hard against him, making love to him with his mouth, until John Paul broke the stillness of the night by crying out Craig's name loudly.

John Paul's legs shook as he came, spilling hotly into Craig's willing mouth that continued in its attentions until John Paul had been drained of every last drop of his lust.

John Paul panted heavily as he rested back against the tree, appreciating the solid support it gave him which stopped him from falling to his knees.

"That was amazing," he breathed as Craig rose to his feet and ran his tongue seductively over his lips.

John Paul cupped Craig's face in his hands and pulled the man towards him, kissing deeply those beautiful lips that could give so much pleasure, tasting the wonderful blend of Craig and himself inside Craig's mouth.

As they kissed Craig eased John Paul's jeans from his hips, pushing them downwards until they lay crumpled at his ankles. Craig ran his hands over the warm soft flesh of John Paul's buttocks as his tongue pushed deeply into John Paul's mouth, their soft moans mingling in the night air.

"Do you know how often I've dreamed about making love to you against this tree?" Craig whispered into John Paul's ear.

John Paul laughed softly. "Then I think it's time your dreams became a reality," he suggested as he turned away from Craig until he was facing the dark gnarled wood of the trees bark.

Craig stroked over the gentle curve of John Paul's buttocks as his cock throbbing with urgency inside his trousers. He moistened his fingers with saliva before sliding them into the enticing valley between those softly curved hills.

John Paul gasped quietly as Craig eased one fingertip inside him. His eyes were closed as his forehead rested against the roughness of the tree truck but all he could feel was Craig as his finger moved deeper inside him making him want more.

Craig desire was building inside him with such intensity that he fumbled one handed with his belt in his urgency to free his cock to the cool midnight air.

He ran his hand over the length of his own cock as he pushed a second and then third finger into the body of John Paul as it opened up to him until he could wait no longer to fulfil his fantasy.

John Paul mourned the absence of Craig's fingers inside him for a second until he felt the head of Craig's cock pushing against his tight opening, easing inside, stretching and filling him more than his fingers ever could.

Craig never tired of the feel of John Paul so hot and tight around his cock, gripping him in a way that no woman's body had ever managed. No matter how many times in the past he had tried to deny being gay he had eventually had to admit, at least to himself, that nothing had ever felt as good as being inside John Paul and that making love had never felt truly satisfying until it was with this man.

"Oh god John Paul," Craig whimpered as John Paul's body seemed to devour his cock until his body was pressed hard against John Paul's back and his cock was completely consumed within.

John Paul turned his head in search of Craig's mouth, kissing him softly as Craig began to move inside him. A slow rocking motion eased Craig's cock along the enticing passage of John Paul's flesh and each inwards stoke caused tremors to run delightfully through his body.

Craig couldn't maintain his slow strokes for long as his desire built, the realisation that he was at last making love to this man against the tree that had featured in so many of his dreams since their first visit to the park aroused him with more intensity that he could ever have expected.

He held tightly onto John Paul's hips as he began to move with harder and faster thrusts, driving himself deeper into the body that welcomed him so completely.

John Paul pushed back against Craig's forward stoked, urging him deeper, relishing the feeling of his lover buried so deep inside him, wanting him and needing him in a way he had never felt with another living soul.

Craig's chest heaved as his breathing became laboured and the pressure inside his cock built rapidly with each thrust into John Paul.

The blackness of the midnight sky was illuminated by the brightness of the moon, which shone down its light on the two lovers in the silence of the deserted park, a silence which was one again shattered by a cry of pleasure as Craig's climax burst from him.

He continued to thrust into the heat of John Paul as his cock pulsed out its worship of the flesh around it until he was completely spent and he let his body fall heavily against John Paul's back with a satisfied smile.

As their breathing began to slow John Paul spoke again. "So did the reality live up to the fantasy then?"

Craig laughed. "Oh no," he said, "The reality was so much better!"

Craig reluctantly stepped back as his exhausted cock slipped from the hold of John Paul's flesh and he adjusted his clothing.

John Paul turned slowly as he pulled his jeans back to his hips and closed them around himself.

Craig stared at him silently. Taking in every inch of his features, the intense blue of his eyes and the soft pink of his lips that were flushed and full from their kisses.

Craig stepped forward needing to taste those lips again. He kissed his lover softly, savouring the feel of his plump mouth and running his tongue over those enticing lips.

"How come you always taste so good?" Craig asked with a smile.

"Do I?" John Paul asked.

Craig nodded. "You're just so…" He paused lost for words. What words could he find to describe this man that he loved so much? Beautiful, gorgeous, enthralling, exciting… or any one of a hundred others but not one of them did justice to how he felt, to what John Paul meant to him.

"You're my life," Craig whispered as he lost himself in the unfathomable depths of John Paul's eyes.

"And you're all I'll ever need Craig," John Paul replied kissing him once again.

They held each other in the quiet of the park for some time as their hearts beat together in a perfect rhythm.

Finally John Paul released his grip on Craig, letting his hand run along Craig arm until he curled his fingers around Craig's.

"Come on," he said with a smile, "We should get out of here before we really do get busted."

The two lovers walked hand in hand through the lessening darkness of the park, each of them trying desperately not to think of how few weeks they had left to be together.

---

Despite his initial resistance John Paul soon found himself laughing along with Craig at the bizarre DVD Craig had picked. Craig's taste in films had always been a source of amusement for John Paul but, as he continued to watch, his arms resting lightly across Craig's chest as the man leant against him, he stopped trying to find any great meaning in the script and instead just allowed himself to enjoy the terrible acting and unbelievable plot lines.

"I knew you'd enjoy it if you just gave it a chance," Craig teased.

"I wouldn't go that far," John Paul insisted, "It's just about tolerable…"

"Ahh you love it," Craig laughed.

John Paul kissed the top of Craig's head. "YOU I love," he replied, "The film… I can cope with!"

"I can live with that," Craig said snuggling further into the warmth of John Paul's arms.

In John Paul's embrace Craig felt complete. Nothing in the world could touch them as long as they were together. He would sometimes catch himself staring at the blue-eyed man with wonder, how had he let himself come so close to losing him and why had he been so afraid to admit how he truly felt?

John Paul kissed the top of Craig's head again, breathing in the gentle scent of him and relishing the feel of Craig's body in his arms. There was a time when John Paul feared that all Craig felt for him was a physical attraction, a feeling that would all too quickly fade and leave him without the man he cared for. Now he knew that nothing could be further from the truth. In each other they had discovered the meaning of love and the knowledge that just being together could be enough.

The credits of the film had started to roll when there was a scraping of keys against the front door followed by swearing as the keys hit the ground.

Craig laughed. "Sounds like someone's had one too many again tonight," he said.

"Will he never learn?" John Paul asked gently.

Over the past few weeks Adam had spent more and more nights away from the flat, often not returning home until he had drunk himself into oblivion. Adam's bright green eyes had become dulled and wore the permanent dark circles of too much alcohol and not enough sleep. John Paul's heart went out to the man every time he saw that haunted look in those eyes. Sometimes a glance would pass between the men and John Paul would try his best to convey his understanding. He knew the pain Adam felt and he also knew there was nothing at all he could do to ease it for him. He knew only too well the hurt of loving Craig Dean and not having it returned.

Adam crashed into the living room with a drunken stumble.

"Oh you're still up," he slurred as he noticed the men on the sofa.

"Been drinking have we?" Craig joked.

"I might have had the odd one…" Adam replied with a drunken giggle.

"Are you letting me in or what?" Adam turned at the voice behind him and stepped into the room to allow the stranger inside.

John Paul nearly choked as he looked at Adam's companion. The soft olive skin, thick dark hair and deep chocolate brown eyes. The similarity was uncanny. If he hadn't known better he could have sworn Adam had just brought Craig's brother home with him.

Craig raised his eyebrows in question of the new person in his flat.

"Oh yeah," Adam stammered resting his hand on the man's shoulder, "John Paul, Craig… this is…" Adam paused as he looked carefully at his new friend. Turning back to his flatmates with a laugh Adam shrugged his shoulders. "I can't remember his name," he laughed. "But you've got to admit he's very cute… now if you'll excuse us we've got better things to do than stand around talking to you."

Adam took hold of the stranger's hand and, after kissing him briefly on the lips, turned and led him in the direction of his bedroom.

John Paul held his breath in anticipation of Craig's reaction. He must have noticed how much this man had looked like him, but more importantly Craig had just witnessed his "straight" friend taking a man to his bedroom.

"Well there's a turn up!" Craig said after a while, a touch of amusement in his voice.

"You aren't shocked?" John Paul asked.

"Should I be?" Craig said adjusting his position so that he could look at his boyfriend, "I mean he IS bi."

"You know?"

"I KNOW… I didn't realise YOU did."

"He kind of… told me… a few weeks back… but he assumed that you didn't know."

"Well we've never discussed it, but Trinity isn't that big… and I talk to people who talk to people… things get around… how come you never mentioned it?"

"I didn't think it was my secret to share," John Paul explained suddenly feeling very uncomfortable under Craig's unfaltering stare, if he knew this then just how many other secrets of Adam's did he know?

"Fair enough," Craig nodded. He couldn't really argue that point, after all he had left the matter unmentioned for much the same reason. "I guess he's gonna realise that we both know when he sobers up tomorrow!"

John Paul chewed thoughtfully on his lip for a moment. "Did that guy remind you of anyone?" he asked carefully.

"What Adam's bloke?" Craig considered what he had seen of the man, "No one I can think of… why?"

John Paul felt a great sense of relief in the knowledge that Craig had not been able to see his own face reflected in that stranger. "Oh no reason," John Paul said dismissively, "I just thought he looked familiar… must have one of those faces…"

"So," Craig said as he nestled back into John Paul's arms, "Are you ready for the next film?"

John Paul let out a mock groan as Craig picked up the remote control. "You are so gonna owe me for this you know," he said jokingly.

"I'm sure I can think of some way to repay you," Craig replied as he hit play.

John Paul rested his chin on Craig's head as he looked at the screen but all he could see was the sadness in two deep green eyes. Adam might have fooled Craig and the strange man that he had just taken to his bed but John Paul knew the truth. Finding a substitute for the man you loved wasn't that easy and it could only end in hurt, for everyone.

---

Adam lay quietly in the darkness of his room. He could hear the soft breathing of the man next to him but he felt no comfort in the other person's presence. Adam wasn't as drunk as he had acted and his decision to bring this man home with him had been a stupid one made for all the wrong reasons.

He had known the second he felt the man's mouth on him that this had been a mistake. The desire he had felt for the dark haired stranger earlier in the pub had been quenched when confronted with the features of the man he really wanted.

Adam had nearly sent the man away there and then but something had stopped him. Maybe it was the need for some physical intimacy even if it was with the wrong man, or perhaps it was just some misguided attempt to finally let Craig know who he really was.

As he shed his clothes Adam had felt awkward and exposed as every fibre of his being screamed at him to stop. But he hadn't listened. He had taken the man into his bed and shared with him the one thing he had dreamed so long of sharing with Craig.

He had closed his eyes tight and tried to pretend so hard that it was Craig's hands touching him, that it was Craig moving inside him, but the truth was all to raw in his heart and he had felt an enormous sense of relief once the man had collapsed beside him on the bed completely spent.

Adam's cheeks were damp with tears as he lay in the silence. His body felt alien to him, somehow wrong and dirty. He had allowed himself to be used when all he really wanted was to be loved.

"You still awake?" the voice next to him asked, "Coz if you're up for it …"

"I think you should go." Adam flicked the switch of his bedside lamp and blinked for a second in the sudden brightness.

"Go? But we've only just started having fun…"

"Please," Adam took a deep breath as he held back the tears that threatened to fall, "I want you to go…"

The man peeled himself out of the bed and collected his clothes from the floor.

Adam looked over the muscular form before him. His toned body should have excited Adam, he should have wanted to pull him into his bed, not chase him out of it. But he didn't. The thought of allowing that man, or maybe any man, to get that close to him again made Adam's body shudder in disgust. He didn't know when or why it had happened but at some point the thought of making love to any man that wasn't Craig had become abhorrent and Adam didn't know what he was going to do about it.

As the front door clicked shut Adam sank his face into his pillow and wept. The loneliness inside him felt all consuming and no amount of alcohol or casual sex could take it away.

He didn't hear his bedroom door open as he sobbed heavily, his shoulders shaking violently with each trembling breath.

The suddenness of strong arms around him surprised Adam as they pulled him into a comforting embrace.

Adam pressed his face into the soft warm skin as he accepted the solace that was offered to him. No words were spoken as he cried until his strength was drained from him, the arms just continued to hold him close for as long as he needed.

Eventually, as Adam's tears subsided, the hold around him was loosened and he turned his bloodshot, tearstained eyes to the face that looked down on him with sympathy.

"I don't know what to do," Adam said quietly, his voice filled with sadness.

"You've got to let it go, before it tears you apart, before it tears us all apart."

"I don't know that I can…"

"You have to… please."

The hand felt soft against Adam's cheek and he leant his face into it, accepting its caress and savouring its warmth.

The kiss against his lips was gentle and felt more right than any he had shared with the man he had taken to his bed. He wanted it to last forever but it was all too fleeting and quickly taken away from him.

"I love you Craig," he whispered, feeling a weight lift from his shoulders as he spoke the words.

The deep brown eyes looked at him in understanding. "I know," Craig told him, "But I love John Paul and nothing is ever going to change that."

"You knew all the time?"

Craig nodded. "I suspected, for a while… I'm sorry."

Adam laughed, the first real laugh he had felt in the longest time. "Why should you be sorry?"

"Because I can't be what you want… and I can see how much you're hurting."

"John Paul's very lucky."

"I'm the lucky one," Craig insisted, "He means the world to me and I'd do anything to make him happy."

"Well you should get back to him, he might be missing you."

Craig smiled one more time at his friend before leaving his room and closing the door softly behind him.

Adam fell back against his mattress with a sigh. For the first time in weeks he felt alive again and something told him that from now on the days would become much brighter.

---

There was a lightness in Adam's step as he entered the kitchen the next morning and the dark circles under his eyes had faded thanks to a restful nights sleep.

John Paul was surprised at Adam's refreshed appearance and couldn't help but wonder what had brought about this sudden change.

As he took his seat at the breakfast table Adam shared a smile with Craig. His bright green eyes sparkled with an appreciation and love that made John Paul's insides lurch as icy fingers touched his heart. The silent communication between the two men spoke volumes and made John Paul fear the one thing that had always preyed at the back of his mind since he first realised how Adam felt.

John Paul had woken in the early hours of the morning to find Craig gone from the bed, the coolness of the mattress announced that he had been missing for a while. At the time John Paul had assumed his boyfriend was in the bathroom and had drifted back to a contented sleep long before Craig returned, but now he wasn't so sure that Craig's absence was for such an innocent reason.

As Adam's eyes lingered on Craig for longer than was necessary the ice around John Paul's heart increased and he felt frozen to the spot, unable to move.

Adam helped himself to a cup of tea and sipped slowly at the hot beverage.

"So what's the plan for today then guys?" he asked lightly.

Craig's deep brown eyes smiled intensely at John Paul. "We haven't thought that far ahead," he said not taking his gaze from the face of his lover, "Maybe we'll just do absolutely nothing."

"Lucky you," Adam grinned as he looked at his watch, "I, on the other hand, have a shift at the pub and I'd better get going… you two be good!"

Adam rose from his seat and rested his hand affectionately on Craig's shoulder for a few seconds before releasing it and leaving the room.

John Paul turned his eyes to the dark wooden tabletop. His head felt heavy with the words and images that were racing around it, making no sense but just serving to confuse him further.

He trusted Craig, he was certain of the fact, almost certain. But the look on Adam's face, the change in his mood and the unfaltering tenderness in his eyes as he looked at Craig had to mean something, something that Craig hadn't told him and there was only one reason that John Paul could think of why his lover would be keeping secrets.

Craig's hand was soft and warm as it covered John Paul's. "So what d'you say to the idea of just doing nothing all day?" he asked squeezing the hand in his grip.

"Yeah, maybe," John Paul replied flatly not raising his gaze.

"Hey, John Paul, is something wrong?" There was concern in Craig's voice at John Paul's apparently sudden change of mood.

"I don't know," John Paul said turning his soft blue eyes to Craig, "Is there?"

Craig frowned with confusion. There was obviously something troubling John Paul as his eyes were filled with worry and his voice sounded cold and emotionless as he spoke.

"What is it? What's happened?"

"I was hoping you'd tell me that…"

Craig shook his head. "I don't know what you're getting at."

"No? Nothing to tell me… nothing I should know about…"

"Like what?"

"Oh I don't know," John Paul pulled his hand back from Craig's touch as he looked at the dark haired man before him. The last thing he wanted to believe was that Craig had… that Craig could… he swallowed hard not even letting the words form fully in his mind. "Where did you go last night?"

"I was with you," Craig replied with a half-laugh.

"I woke up and you'd gone…"

"Oh…"

"Yeah… oh… so what d'you go for a walk… fancy a late night snack…"

"No of course not I…"

"Or did you maybe go and see Adam?"

Craig's eyes answered long before his voice could manage to find the words. "I should have told you."

"Yes you should," John Paul licked his lips nervously, "Just tell me one thing… please just tell me you didn't…"

"Didn't what?" Craig's eyes opened wide as he realised what John Paul had been thinking, "Oh god no… no never…"

Craig rose to his feet and moved quickly to John Paul's side, sinking to his knees on the cool of the kitchen floor before him and taking both of John Paul's hands in his grasp.

"You've got to believe I would never do that," Craig said looking up earnestly into John Paul's confused face, "Not with him… not with anyone… I swear to you…"

"So what happened? Why the secrets? Why didn't you just tell me?"

Craig shrugged. "I should have," he admitted, "I just… he was so upset… I didn't think it was my place to say anything…"

"Upset? What's happened?"

Craig sighed as he realised he should have confided in John Paul to begin with, there had been enough secrets and he couldn't risk anything coming between them again.

"I got up to go to the bathroom and on my way back, passing Adam's room, I heard him crying… he sounded so pitiful I had to see if he was OK…"

"That guy didn't…" John Paul's brow creased with concern as he remembered Adam's strange companion of the previous evening who had not materialised at breakfast.

"No nothing like that," Craig reassured him, "He'd already gone, I think Adam had thrown him out."

"So what was wrong?"

"I didn't ask, not really but he was crying so hard I couldn't leave him…"

"No of course not."

"So I went in and I just held him until he stopped… and for a while I wasn't sure he was going to. It broke my heart to hear… I've never seen him like that before…"

"And did he tell you what it was about?"

Craig chewed on his lip thoughtfully, he was certain that John Paul wouldn't be happy to know the reason behind Adam's tears.

"He said he was in love with me…" Craig's voice was nearly a whisper as he looked deeply into the pale blue of John Paul's eyes praying that he would understand.

"I see…" John Paul paused for a moment, "And what did you say…?"

Craig grip on John Paul's hand tightened. "That I love YOU of course," he said softly, "There's only you… there only ever can be… you've gotta believe in me John Paul, you're all I want… all I'll ever want."

John Paul touched his hands to the softness of Craig's face. Relief and guilt replaced the worry he had felt. Craig was right, he should have trusted him and maybe, just maybe, he should have told him how Adam felt when he first found out.

"I'm sorry," John Paul said as he leant forward and kissed Craig's lips lightly, "I guess I'm just worried that one day some gorgeous hunk is gonna come and steal you from me."

Craig laughed. "Never gonna happen," he promised, "I've found the hunk I want and I'm never letting him get away."


	5. Chapter 5

Craig knelt for a long time with his head resting on John Paul's lap as John Paul ran his fingers lazily through his hair. There was a peace between them that both men found comforting.

"I'm sorry," John Paul said quietly.

"What for?" Craig asked looking up.

John Paul paused to look into the depths of his lover's soulful brown eyes until he felt himself completely engulfed by their gaze. Looking into Craig's eyes could touch him deeper than anything he had ever known before. Just one look and John Paul felt safe, he felt like he was home.

"I need to learn that I can trust you." John Paul ran his hand gently over the tilt of Craig's chin.

"I know I've given you reason not to in the past," Craig said catching hold of John Paul's hand, "But I won't do it again… I promise." Craig touched his lips to John Paul's hand, kissing each finger in turn before pressing his mouth warmly to the curve of John Paul's palm. "No more secrets…"

"No more secrets," John Paul agreed.

John Paul smiled as Craig got to his feet and stretched. There was a time when Craig's words would have felt like nothing more than that, just words, but now his promises felt like a guarantee that John Paul could trust and he finally realised that he did.

"I think I fancy a bath," Craig said as he stretched out his arms widely and headed out of the room.

Craig stopped at the door and turned back with a cheeky grin. "So?" he said holding out his hand, "Are you gonna join me?"

---

John Paul stood with his arms folded over his chest and one eyebrow raised as he observed the bathtub before him.

"So just how much of a girl ARE YOU?" he asked with a laugh.

"What?" Craig replied defensively, "I LIKE the bubbles, they're relaxing…"

"Bubbles are one thing," John Paul said, "But THIS??? It's like an explosion in a shampoo factory."

Craig skimmed his hand over the mass of foam that rest on the surface of the filled bathtub.

"Well I like them," he said dropping his clothes onto a pile on the floor and stepping carefully into the hot water. He sighed as the perfumed liquid covered his body until he was almost hidden under the sea of bubbles.

Scooping a handful of bubbles Craig blew them at John Paul. "And if you don't want to join me," he said laughing, "you don't have to."

It only took John Paul a second to consider his options before his own clothing has been discarded and he stepped gingerly into the bathtub.

The water was hot against his skin and it took a second to adjust to the temperature as he sank deeper into the tub and let his back come to rest against Craig's chest.

Leaning his head back to settle back on Craig's shoulder John Paul sank deeper into the water until the bubbles tickled at his chin and he let out a contented sigh.

"Told you the bubbles were relaxing," Craig gloated as he slid his arms around John Paul's chest and held him close.

"OK you win," John Paul conceded, "The bubbles are great." He sighed again. "I think I could stay here for the rest of my life."

"Oh I don't know," Craig said thoughtfully as he ran his hands over John Paul's soft skin, "You'll get wrinkly!"

"Hey! Are you trying to say you wouldn't love me if I was wrinkly…"

"Of course… I only like you now coz you're young and gorgeous!"

"Charming!" John Paul laughed as he playfully aimed his elbow at Craig's stomach.

Craig touched a kiss to the top of John Paul's head. "I'll love you however old and wrinkly you get," he said lovingly, "Just as long as you're always here."

"I promise," John Paul replied.

They lay back for a while and simply enjoyed the pure physical pleasure of their closeness mixed with the warmth of the bath that soaked away all the stresses they had felt over the past few days. The rise and fall of their chests caused the warm perfumed water to wash gently over them with soft caresses.

John Paul took hold of one of Craig's hands and stroked lightly at his fingers.

"There's something I should tell you… if we're gonna have no more secrets."

"Let me guess… someone's in love with you too," Craig joked.

John Paul smiled as he turned his head to look at the man behind him. "Well I hope at least one person is," he said with a laugh.

"You can count on it," Craig told him and he leant forward a brushed a kiss across John Paul's lips.

John Paul snuggled back against his lover and continued to run his fingers over the hand that he held.

"I knew about Adam," John Paul said quietly, "I knew how he felt about you…"

"You did? How… when…"

"He told me… well no I guessed and he admitted it… the other day when he got wasted and we almost had to carry him home… I should have said something but I didn't think it would do any good…"

Craig was thoughtful for a moment before he spoke. "That explains why you got so weird… asking me if I fancied him… I was worried what that was all about…"

"Sorry… I should have said but…."

"It doesn't matter…"

Craig kissed at the damp skin of John Paul's neck as he held him closer. "I already knew as well," he breathed into John Paul's ear, "At least I suspected…"

John Paul laughed softly. "We really are gonna have to talk more," he said lightly raising Craig's hand to his mouth and dropping feather light kisses over his fingers.

"So you're not angry that I didn't say anything then?" John Paul asked.

"No of course not… I didn't either…"

John Paul ran the tip of his tongue lightly over the length of Craig's index finger. "Only if you were," he continued, "I might have to think of a way to make it up to you."

Craig swallowed hard as John Paul took the tip of his finger between his lips. "Well… maybe I'm a little bit angry," he said pressing his chest firmly into John Paul's back, "So if you feel the need to make it up to me…"

Craig took a shaky breath as his finger was pulled deeper into John Paul's mouth and the soft heat of his tongue moved temptingly over it. He slid his other hand over the firmness of John Paul's chest, feeling his nipples harden at his touch, and then down over his taught belly and across his soft smooth thighs.

John Paul released Craig's finger from his mouth as he gasped at Craig's touch skimming over his flesh and awakening every nerve. Both of Craig's hands slipped over John Paul's thighs, stroking the soft skin that was warm from the heat of the bath and squeezing gently at his firm flesh.

John Paul relaxed his body back against Craig, his head falling back against the man's shoulder as he sighed with the pleasure that Craig's attentive touch was arousing in him.

"I thought you were supposed to be making things up to me," Craig breathed teasingly into John Paul's ear.

John Paul stretched his arm back behind his head and took a gentle hold of Craig's neck, pulling the man's mouth closer to his.

"Oh I will," he promised as he turned his head and kissed Craig passionately, his tongue slipping inside the mouth that was yearning for it.

Their kiss deepened as Craig's hands continued to explore the slickness of John Paul's body until they finally reached their target causing John Paul to moan softly into Craig's mouth as he felt Craig's strong fingers begin to stroke lightly over his cock.

It never failed to amaze Craig just how much pleasure he could get from touching John Paul, from making him moan that way and making him cry out Craig's name as he came. Even the simple thought of pleasuring John Paul would arouse him, but to have him this close, to hold him this way and to know that John Paul loved him without question was more of a turn on than anything he had ever known.

John Paul's eyes were closed tightly as Craig's hand moved slowly over his cock, making the bath water swirl enticingly around the sensitive flesh as he pressed back against Craig until he could feel the firmness of the man's cock pushing into his back, demanding attention.

"Craig…" John Paul's voice was heavy with desire as Craig's hand continued to work its magic, easing back his foreskin to allow the hot bathwater access to the tip of his pulsing cock and then stroking back in the other direction until John Paul could hardly contain himself.

Craig's mouth nibbled at the hot damp skin of John Paul's neck, licking at the intoxicating taste and sucking the flesh into his mouth.

"God Craig really…" John Paul's voice shook as he spoke and his breathing was heavy, "If you carry on doing that I don't think I'll be able to…"

Craig laughed lightly into John Paul's neck as the knowledge that he could arouse such desire in this man made him feel giddy.

"Tell me that you want me," Craig breathed heavily into John Paul's ear.

"You know I do," John Paul panted, "More than anything… I want you so much…"

"I need you John Paul… I really do… I…"

John Paul pulled himself forward, sitting upright and then, struggling slightly and laughing due to the confines of the tub he finally managed to move himself onto his knees, his legs on either side of Craig's pushing them together as he squeezed against the sides of the bath.

He reached a hand behind him and gripped the throbbing hardness of Craig's cock, making the man gasp at the sudden touch.

"I want you Craig," John Paul repeated, "I want you to make love to me."

John Paul lowered himself slowly onto the hardness of Craig's cock and guided it into his tight opening. His body was relaxed by the warm bath and Craig's cock was slick with the soap bubbles suspended in the water but John Paul still gasped as he felt himself being stretched by the fullness of Craig's erection.

He paused for a second to allow his body to accommodate Craig before pushing the man deeper into him until he had lowered himself onto Craig's lap.

John Paul sat motionless as he took a moment to savour the sensation of Craig's cock buried deep inside him and Craig's hand still curled tightly around his own cock.

Craig kissed the smooth skin of John Paul back. "God you feel amazing," he breathed as John Paul began to raise himself up slowly causing the bath water to rush back over the exposed skin of Craig's cock and then lower himself back down to consume its length once more.

Craig wrapped one arm tightly around John Paul's chest and held the man close to him. They moved together in a slow deliberate rhythm rising and falling in time, their bodies coming together under the hot soapy water and their moans mingling into the steam that filled the room.

John Paul whimpered in pleasure as Craig's hand held him tightly, caressing the length of his cock, his strokes growing tighter and faster in time with John Paul's own motions.

John Paul's hands gripped the sides of the bathtub as his body trembled. Craig's cock was so hard and deep inside him and each upward thrust of Craig's hips sent shooting stars behind John Paul's eyes he was urged closer to release.

Craig panted against John Paul's back as the mans hot tight body moved over his cock, gripping it so perfectly that every inch of it vibrated with desire.

"Oh god Craig…" John Paul's knuckles were white as he held the sides of the tub and his breathing was laboured and urgent.

Craig could feel John Paul's cock throbbing against his palm as it begged for satisfaction. He squeezed it tighter as he bucked his hips and drove his cock deeper into John Paul making the man cry out as the hard presence inside him hit the spot that gave him the ultimate pleasure.

John Paul called out Craig's name as he came, Craig's hand stroking his cock firmly as it pulsed out its liberation sending heat from John Paul's body to mix with the heat from the bath.

Craig pulled John Paul harder down against his body, feeling John Paul's climaxing flesh contract around his cock, holding him that bit tighter until the joy of being deep inside his lover was more than he could stand and he cried out his pleasure coming hard and fast inside the body he worshiped, filling John Paul with his desire until he relaxed back into the bath tub completely spent.

John Paul carefully uncurled his legs and adjusted himself until he was resting back against Craig's chest.

"So, have I made it up to you yet?" he asked with a breathy laugh.

"Maybe," Craig considered, "I suppose it all depends on what else I get if I said no!"

John Paul turned his face to kiss the full pink mouth that was smiling at him. "You can get anything you want," he said, "You always can…"

Craig wrapped his arms around John Paul's chest and hugged him.

"I love you," he said kissing at John Paul's ear.

"You'd better," John Paul told him, "Coz you're stuck with me now... permanently!"

---

"There's no beer left…" Craig's voice called from the kitchen.

Adam and John Paul exchanged amused looks but didn't reply.

Craig walked into the living room and leant in the doorway. "I said… there's no beer left," he repeated.

John Paul opened the can in his hand and took a deliberately slow drink as he eyed Craig over its rim.

Craig sighed. "I suppose I'll go to the shops and get some shall I?"

"Good idea," John Paul agreed, "Pick me up some chocolate while you're there would you?"

"What am I? Your slave?"

"If you play your cards right!"

"You DO know it's pouring down out there?" Craig pouted in the vain hope that either John Paul or Adam would valiantly offer to go out for him but they both just settled themselves deeper into the comfort of the sofa.

"You'd better hurry then," John Paul teased, "You don't want to get too soaked!"

"Thanks for your concern," Craig replied as he pulled on his coat, "If I get pneumonia you'll be sorry…"

"Don't worry I'll nurse you back to health."

As Craig turned to leave John Paul called after him holding his hand out. "Hey haven't you forgotten something?"

"What?"

"Come here…"

John Paul caught hold of Craig's hand and pulled the man towards him planting a firm kiss against his lips. "Don't take too long," he said softly, "I'll miss ya…"

Adam watched the exchange between the two men with a smile. It had been a few days since he confessed his feelings to Craig and he had been waiting ever since for the awkwardness to build between them, but it never did.

Craig treated him the same way he had since the day they moved in together and, as much as Adam hated to admit it, Craig's handling of the situation only served to make Adam love him more. But at the same time Adam had found a great sense of relief having expressed how he felt.

For so long the thoughts of "what if" had hung over him. What if Craig felt the same… what if John Paul wasn't the right man for him… what if he had a chance. All that changed when Adam used the L word and Craig gently told him that his heart was with John Paul and it always would be.

Adam knew that he would eventually get over Craig, and he even hoped that their friendship would survive long after Craig returned home to Chester, but for now he would hold his unrequited love close and just enjoy what time he could with the man he loved.

Adam became aware that John Paul was staring at him and he shuffled uneasily, had he been able to tell that he was thinking about Craig?

John Paul ran his tongue over his lips as he took a moment to think, there was something he wanted to say but he felt that he had to choose his words carefully.

"Look Adam…" he began as he cleared his throat, "I just wanted to say… well to let you know… I mean Craig told me… about what happened the other night…"

"You mean when I made an idiot of myself," Adam laughed self-consciously.

"Nobody thinks that," John Paul reassured him, "I know it's been hard for you recently and I don't suppose me being here helps either."

"Seeing Craig happy helps… I probably shouldn't have said anything to him but I guess he just found me at a weak moment and I needed… I don't know…"

John Paul took Adam's hand. "I know," he said, "Really I do. Craig doesn't make it easy not to love him… not that he would ever believe it."

"He was so understanding," Adam said as his deep green eyes misted with the memory, "I was such a mess, picking that guy up and everything, I don't think I'd ever felt lower and he was there… just when I needed someone to hold me he was there…"

"He's good like that. I sometimes think he's got a sixth sense, he always seems to know when someone needs him… when I need him." John Paul couldn't help but smile as he remembered the times when he'd been missing Craig so much it seemed unbearable and within minutes a text or phone call would let him know everything was going to be OK.

"When he held me," Adam was continuing, "Things didn't seem so bad any more… I don't know why but it just seemed better…"

John Paul nodded his understanding as he squeezed Adam's hand.

"And when he kissed me it was like he was telling me that it was gonna be alright…"

John Paul continued to smile, but the smile was frozen in place and Adam's words turned into white noise as four words started to spin in his mind…"when he kissed me…"

Craig had never mentioned that. Why had Craig never mentioned that? Obviously because it wasn't important. But if it wasn't important why had he tried to hide it? What did he have to hide? It was nothing, of course it was nothing. He trusted Craig… they'd already been through this and Craig had promised him that he would never give him a reason not to trust him again. Why again? Did that mean he had given him reason to before?

John Paul didn't notice when Adam's hand slipped from his hold or the way that Adam's words had trailed off into silence. He needed Craig to get home… he needed to feel the reassurance of that steady brown gaze and the comfort of his strong arms. He needed to know that the fear that was gripping his chest was unfounded.

Adam fell heavily against the back of the sofa as he pulled his hand from John Paul's grip. He had seen the look in the man's eyes and he knew immediately that he had said the wrong thing. "Shit!" he thought to himself, "Shit, shit, shit… why do I always manage to cause trouble? Damn Craig why didn't you tell him that bit… now he's blowing it all out of proportion in his mind… I can see it… and if I try and explain it's gonna sound like I'm hiding thing… SHIT!"

The silence in the room became impenetrable as the two men waited for Craig to get home.

---

Craig was shaking the rain from his hair as he entered the living room, scattering droplets everywhere. He grinned at John Paul as he stuck his hand into the carrier bag he was holding and threw a large purple packet to him.

John Paul caught the pack and looked at it. "Chocolate buttons!" He said with a mildly disgusted tone, "What am I six?"

"Sorry…" Craig said, "I thought you liked them."

John Paul felt a stab of guilt at the hurt look in those gentle brown eyes and cursed himself.

"I do…" he said apologetically, "I really do… thanks…"

Craig smiled but there was an uncertainty in his eyes. Something seemed wrong with John Paul and he felt almost afraid to find out what it was.

He hadn't realised just how cold he was until his teeth began to chatter noisily, which encouraged the rest of his body to begin shaking.

John Paul was gripped with concern as he noticed just how soaked Craig had gotten. His clothes were dripping wet, leaving puddles of rainwater on the carpet.

"For gods sake Craig you need to get out of those things," John Paul insisted getting to his feet.

"Anything to get me naked," Craig teased around chattering teeth.

"Not this time," John Paul replied, "I know I offered to nurse you through pneumonia, but I'd really rather not have to! Go on… get in the bedroom and take those clothes off… I'll get you some towels."

Craig had already dropped his jacket and shirt into a sodden pile on the bedroom floor when John Paul arrived with armfuls of soft white towels. He unceremoniously dropped one onto Craig head and began ferociously drying the man's hair.

"Careful," Craig said with a laugh, "I do want some skin left on my scalp!"

"Sorry," John Paul said letting go of the towel and grabbing a larger one to wrap around Craig's shoulders.

"Is there something wrong?" Craig didn't want to ask the question, he certainly didn't want to know the answer but those were two things that he couldn't really avoid.

John Paul shrugged. "Why should there be?"

"You tell me…"

"You'd better get out of those jeans before you get a chill."

Craig struggled to peel the soaking denim from his skin as John Paul wrapped another towel around his waist. As John Paul began to rub the softness of the towel over Craig's back he started to feel some warmth returning to his body.

"John Paul what's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

"I know you better than that," Craig took a hold of John Paul's shoulders and looked him squarely in the eyes, "What's wrong… tell me…"

John Paul's eyes flicked down to the carpet for a second and when they raised Craig could see the confusion shining brightly amidst their blueness.

"Is there anything you haven't told me?" John Paul asked quietly.

"Anything… like what?"

"Just anything… anything that maybe you didn't think was important at the time… that slipped your mind…"

"You're gonna have to give me more of a clue than that."

John Paul took a deep breath. "We said we weren't gonna have any more secrets right?"

"Right."

"So how come you never mentioned that you kissed Adam?"

"You knew that… I told you… when I came back to Chester…"

"I don't mean then," John Paul could feel a frustrated rage building inside him, "I'm talking about the other night… when you were in his room…"

"You mean when he was upset..?"

"Unless there have been other times you haven't told me about."

John Paul shrugged Craig's hands from his shoulders and turned away. He had planned to ask Craig about this calmly. He had been given no reason to expect the worst but his jealousy had taken over. The very thought of Craig kissing someone else, no matter how innocently, made him feel physically ill.

"Of course there haven't been any other times."

"So it's just that one time you didn't bother telling me about then?"

"It didn't seem important." Craig placed his hand on John Paul's shoulder but it was shrugged off again as the man spun around with anger flashing in his eyes.

"My boyfriend kisses someone who's said that he's in love with him… how is that not important?"

"It wasn't like that…"

"So what was it like? Tell me, I'd like to know."

"He hadn't said he loved me when I kissed him."

John Paul let out a snort of a laugh. "Oh well that's alright then… you just kissed him coz you fancied it."

"No that's not what I meant." Craig head was spinning. Where had this all come from? Did John Paul's insecurities really run this deep? "He was upset… I was comforting him."

"With your mouth?"

"John Paul please. It was a gesture of friendship… really… there's nothing more to it than that."

"Just friendship? Like the time you kissed me in the gym?"

Craig shook his head. "No, nothing like the time I kissed you in the gym… there is nothing like kissing you."

"I don't understand why you didn't tell me… if there was nothing in it." John Paul didn't realised that his hands were clenched into fists at his side until he felt his nails begin to dig into the flesh of his palms.

"Because there was nothing to tell," Craig could feel his temper begin to fray at the edges. Why couldn't John Paul believe him, just once? "He was upset and I kissed him for a second… in comfort… end of story and if you can't understand that…"

"What? If I can't understand that what?"

"Maybe we're not as strong as we think we are…"

"And if you feel the need to go around kissing random men then maybe we're not."

"Oh for gods sake John Paul," Craig snapped, "ONE MAN, my friend… who was upset… it's not any random men!"

"Well that's what you say…" John Paul knew he was being unreasonable. He knew that he was starting to sound ridiculous and he even realised that he pretty much believe what Craig was telling him but still he felt unable to back down. The more Craig reasoned with him the more he resisted until the anger sparked between them with enough heat to start a forest fire.

"Yes that's what I say…" Craig snarled between gritted teeth, "Because it's true." Craig didn't realise that he had raised his hands until they connected with John Paul's chest with a shove.

John Paul stumbled back with surprise at the sudden blow.

"And how am I supposed to know that?" John Paul asked angrily, "Just because you say so?"

Craig closed the distance between himself and his lover before raising his hands and shoving John Paul again. John Paul felt the wall collide with his back as he staggered against it.

"Yes because I say so," Craig said with his face only inches from John Paul's. "Because I say so… and because I love you."

There was a silence as the two men locked eyes. Their chests rose with the heavy breathing of their combined anger and their fingers clawed at the air.

"Say it again," John Paul said, his voice still laden with unspent rage.

"Say what?"

"That you love me."

Craig fingers dug into the soft flesh of John Paul's forearms. "I love you," he said with a fierce passion, "I love you and only you."

"Then show me," John Paul said as he wrapped his arms around Craig's shoulders, pushing the towel to the floor, "Show me just how much."

Their mouths collided in desperation as the fire of their anger soon changed to the heat that fired their desire.

John Paul's hands clawed at the small of Craig's back as he pulled the man tightly into his arms. His fingers caught on the towel that was still wrapped around Craig's waist and John Paul quickly released it, dropping it to the floor leaving Craig completely naked in his embrace.

Craig could feel the roughness of John Paul's jeans scratching against his bare flesh and the softness of his t-shirt pressing against his naked chest. John Paul's hands seemed to be touching him everywhere at once and it was no longer the cold that was making him shiver.

"I'm just gonna have to make you realise that you can't go around kissing other men anymore," John Paul whispered into Craig's ear.

"And how d'you plan on doing that?" Craig asked breathlessly as he felt John Paul's teeth bite into the softness at the crook of his neck.

Craig couldn't stifle the soft whimpers as John Paul's mouth travelled over his skin. The heat from John Paul's tongue running lightly over his bare flesh until his whole body trembled with desire. Craig could never quite believe how easily John Paul could arouse him. A few touches and kisses from the man was all it would take to reduce Craig to desperation and leave his body aching for satisfaction.

"I'm gonna show you what you stand to lose," John Paul said as he continued to nibble at Craig's sensitive skin, "And then I'm gonna make sure you don't want to look at anyone else anyway…"

Craig opened his mouth to protest that he never looked at anyone else but the suddenness with which John Paul grabbed his shoulders and spun him around until his back was pressed firmly against the cold wall stole the air from his lungs and the words from his lips.

"You're mine Craig Dean," John Paul breathed with his mouth only a fraction of an inch from Craig's lips, "And don't you ever forget that."

There was an aggression in John Paul's kiss that both surprised and excited Craig. He felt completely powerless as John Paul held him against the wall and kissed him so hard that he felt certain his lips would be bruised. Yet he felt no compulsion to resist, instead he felt himself submit completely to John Paul and allowed the other man to take control of his body.

John Paul's mouth left Craig's lips and travelled slowly over his neck, nipping lightly at the soft skin and pausing to run his tongue over the heavy pulse in his throat.

Craig's breathing was slow and heavy as John Paul's tongue brushed over his naked chest, his teeth biting at the firmness of his nipples causing a yelp to escape from Craig's lips as the heat from John Paul's mouth moved ever lower down the bare flesh of his lover.

John Paul ran his hands along Craig's sides, following the curve of his slender waist, as he sank to his knees. He paused for a second to look back up into the deep dark pools of Craig's eyes and was gratified to see a mixture of love and desire in them. He stroked his hands over Craig's thighs, smiling at the sound of sighs his touch was evoking, and ran them to the top of Craig's legs where he gently but firmly cupped Craig's balls in his palm.

Craig's nails scratched against the cold wall at his back as John Paul's hand massaged his balls lightly. He could feel the heat of John Paul's breath close to his cock and every inch of him ached for that heat to engulf him.

John Paul knew just what Craig wanted, what he needed and it took great restraint to resist giving in too quickly. Instead John Paul leant forward and touched his tongue against the inside of Craig's thigh. He tasted at Craig's skin as he licked over the soft flesh, his tongue travelling to meet the contents of his hand at which point he pressed his mouth against Craig's balls and listened in satisfaction at Craig's moans and whimpers as he sucked the flesh gently into his mouth.

Craig's eyes were closed tightly and his legs trembled as John Paul continued to tease him, his mouth passing so close to Craig's cock that it would jump in anticipation only to be passed over time and time again.

When John Paul finally took the head of Craig's cock into his mouth it was so unexpected that Craig's knees buckled and he had to hold on to John Paul's shoulders to keep himself from falling.

John Paul's mouth was hot and wet as his lips passed over the tip of Craig's cock, his tongue running in delightful circles over its head, taking it deeply into his mouth and sucking its length into his throat.

His head moved back and forward, passing Craig's cock in and out of his mouth in a steady rhythm as he held firmly onto its base. Craig's breaths were coming in short heavy gasps as John Paul sucked on him harder, his tongue lapping at the drops of precum that escaped from its tip with the promise of more not far behind.

"Oh god John Paul… I…" Craig's voice shook as the pressure of his climax began to build inside him. He could never resist John Paul's seductive mouth for long and the man's aggressive attitude had made it even more difficult.

John Paul could feel Craig's body shudder and he knew exactly what that meant; he knew that within moments Craig would fill his mouth with his hot desire. But John Paul had other ideas.

As quickly as he had taken Craig's cock into his mouth John Paul let it fall from his lips and he pulled himself to his feet.

Once again he looked into the depths of Craig's eyes and this time in with the love and desire he saw confusion and desperation. At the last second Craig had been denied the release he had expected, had wanted, had needed and he felt even more under John Paul's control that ever.

"Not yet…" John Paul whispered to him as he kissed his lover gently, "Tell me again how much you love me."

"More than anything," Craig replied breathlessly, "More than my own life."

John Paul smiled as he realised that he didn't doubt the truth in Craig's words, not for a single second.

He took a step back and could help but admire the sight of his naked boyfriend stood with his back still pressed firmly against the wall and his cock standing proudly in front of him, glistening with the remnants of John Paul's saliva.

"Turn around."

Craig obeyed John Paul's instruction without hesitation and was quickly stood with the palms of his hands flat against the wall he faced trembling in anticipation of John Paul's next move.

"Let me show you just how much I love you."

John Paul placed his hands against the smoothness of Craig's back. His skin was still cool from his recent soaking and it trembled at John Paul's touch. As John Paul moved his breath was hot against the back of Craig's neck and it sent shivers down his spine that John Paul could feel under his fingertips.

"I love you so much Craig," John Paul whispered into Craig's neck as he kissed it, "I guess that's why I get so crazy when I think you want someone else… I couldn't stand to lose you."

"You won't," Craig promised with a sigh as John Paul's mouth kissed the back of his neck tenderly, "I could never love anyone as much as I love you…"

Just as he had done with Craig's chest, John Paul now covered the man's back with kisses and trailed his tongue over the lightly tanned skin. He pressed his mouth into the small of Craig's back as his hands squeezed at his buttocks. Sinking back to his knees John Paul kissed firmly against the roundness of Craig's buttocks before nipping playfully at Craig's skin with his teeth.

Craig gasped as he felt John Paul's hands gently part his buttocks and push his tongue firmly between them. The sensation of John Paul's tongue pushing against his opening was so incredible that Craig almost forgot to breathe. The heat from John Paul's mouth seemed to totally envelope Craig and the unrelenting motion of his tongue turned Craig's legs to jelly.

As John Paul circled his tongue against Craig's body he could feel that exquisite entrance react to his attentions, pulsing against his mouth in a most inviting way. He pushed his tongue harder as he felt Craig begin to open up to him and heard a sharp intake of breath from Craig as he continued to lap enthusiastically at Craig's trembling anus.

John Paul pushed his thumb against Craig's moist opening and eased it gently inside. Craig bit on his lip as he felt John Paul's thumb inside him, moving in slow circles in preparation of what was to come, of what Craig hoped was to come. John Paul's thumb was deep inside the heat of Craig's body and he could feel it contract around him as he guided it slowly in and out.

His cock was aching for release from his jeans and eventually John Paul could not resist the demands of his own body any longer.

He pulled himself to his feet and kissed at Craig's neck as he pulled down his zip and released his throbbing cock to the air.

"I want you so much," he murmured into Craig's ear as he directed the head of his cock towards the tempting opening.

"Please John Paul…" Craig begged pushing back against his lover and forcing his cock inside.

It was John Paul's turn to gasp as he felt Craig open up to him. His desire had built to such intensity with the remnants of his anger still lingering at the back of his mind that all intentions of gentleness were forgotten as he slammed his cock hard into Craig, forcing the man firmly against the wall.

Craig whimpered for a second at the aggressive way John Paul drove into him but it soon felt so good to have that cock deep inside him that any desire for complaint was quickly brushed aside.

John Paul held tightly onto Craig's hips as he moved deep and hard inside the man, filling him and possessing him completely until he was aware of nothing other than how much he loved Craig and how much he wanted him.

"You feel amazing," John Paul panted, Craig's body gripped him so perfectly as he moved into it.

"Oh god John Paul," Craig could hardly think straight as the hardness of John Paul's cock pushed deeply into him, brushing against that magic spot over and over again, "Fuck me…. Please god fuck me hard…"

John Paul moved harder and faster into Craig as the man repeated his request with a trembling voice. Slipping his hand around Craig's waist John Paul took a firm hold on his cock and stroked it in time with his thrusts until the words coming from Craig's mouth no longer made and sense but had become sounds of pure pleasure.

He could feel Craig's cock begin to pulse in his hand as Craig's moans got louder, his climax racing towards him at an unstoppable rate. And then, just as Craig thought he would explode John Paul froze. He stopped all motion and loosened his grip on Craig's cock until it just rested lightly against his palm. Craig whimpered at again being denied his final satisfaction but at the same time found a perverse excitement in John Paul's total dominance over him, knowing that he would only be allowed to come when John Paul decided.

"Tell me that you're mine," John Paul said leaning into Craig's neck.

"I am… completely…"

"And you'll never want anyone else…"

"Never…"

"Now tell me what you want…"

"I want you… I want you to fuck me… I want you to… oh god please John Paul… I want you to make me come…"

"I love you so much Craig," John Paul said as he curled his fingers tightly around Craig's cock and resumed his slow steady thrusts inside him, "You're all I've ever wanted."

Craig's body shook as John Paul drove hard inside him again, his hand stroking the length of his cock faster and faster until once again he felt it begin to pulse against his palm.

Craig moaned loudly as John Paul's cock slammed forcefully inside him urging his climax on.

"Come for me Craig," John Paul said quietly, "I want to hear you scream my name when you come…"

As he spoke John Paul fucked Craig harder and harder, his hand gripping tightly onto Craig's cock with a motion to match his thrusts until Craig could resist no longer.

He cried out John Paul's name as he came, the intensity of his climax ripping through every atom of his body with a pleasure he could hardly stand. His cock throbbed heavily in John Paul's grip as it spilled his lust heavily with each new stroke of his hand until he felt completely drained.

The intensity of Craig's climax had increased John Paul's desire ten fold making him drive his cock hard into the still trembling, contracting flesh of Craig's body until he too felt the release he craved pulled from his body.

He let the pleasure consume him as he repeated Craig's name over and over, thrusting deeply inside him as his cock throbbed out his orgasm until he had nothing left to give.

John Paul was reluctant to relinquish possession of Craig's body but his shaking legs gave him no choice as he staggered back towards the bed and fell against the mattress with a satisfied sigh.

"You do realise," Craig said with a smile as he dropped himself onto the bed next to his lover, "That you've just made me want to make you jealous more often."

John Paul laughed as he grabbed Craig and pulled him into his arms. "Just not too often," John Paul requested, "I don't think I could stand the pace!"

---

Adam had been staring at his coffee for some time. He didn't notice the steaming hot liquid slowly cool until it was barely tepid, nor did he notice how his knuckles had whitened from gripping onto the cups handle for so long.

Adam had come to a decision and, as hard as he tried to think of an alternative, he knew that this was the only way out, this was the one thing he didn't want to do but the only thing that he could.

He didn't lift his head as Craig entered the kitchen and made himself a drink before joining Adam at the table.

"Alright mate?" Craig asked in a cheerful tone.

Adam painfully raised his eyes to his flatmate. The smile on Craig's face was wide and his eyes sparkled brightly. His dark blue dressing gown was wrapped tightly around him exposing just a fraction of skin below his throat, just enough to give Adam pause to wonder just what it would feel like to press his lips against that skin.

Of all the clichéd things he could do falling for his flatmate had to be the most stupid. But every time he looked into the depths of Craig's rich brown eyes, framed by unfathomably long lashes, Adam felt himself falling deeper and if he wasn't careful he would soon be in danger of never finding his way out.

"I've been thinking," Adam said slowly.

"Careful mate," Craig teased, "You're a student… you're not supposed to waste time thinking!"

"I'm serious," Adam continued returning his gaze to the safety of his drink.

"What's up?" Craig could hear the confusion and anguish in his friend's tone.

"I think it's time I moved out." Adam lifted his eyes a fraction in an attempt to gauge Craig's reaction.

"Why would you want to do that?" Craig asked with a puzzled frown, "I thought you liked living here."

"I did… I do…" Adam ran his hand through his hair nervously, "I just think it would be the best… for all of us..."

"I don't understand, what's happened?"

"Me… this… I just… I'm tired of…" Adam struggled to find the words to explain what he was feeling. He took the risk of looking into Craig's eyes and felt that familiar sensation as if the world had stopped spinning, the air had been taken from his lungs and the beauty of those eyes were the last thing he would ever gaze upon. "I don't want to be the cause of any more trouble…"

"You're not…"

"We both know that's not true," Adam was grateful for Craig's words but he could feel the lie hidden just below their surface, "Every time I open my mouth lately I seem to say the wrong thing… mess things up between you and John Paul… and I don't want to do that anymore… I don't want to be the reason that you two break up – I couldn't stand it. I've never seen you as happy as you've been the last few weeks with him here."

Craig's lips curled into a gentle smile as he took hold of Adam's hand and squeezed it gently.

"We're not about to break up," he reassured his friend, "Not because of you … not because of anything…"

"But if I stay I'm bound to do something, say something… like I did last night… if I'd just stopped to think…"

"It's not your fault that I hadn't told John Paul everything, besides half the fun of having a fight is in the making up!"

Adam tried to return Craig's smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes. This wasn't how the conversation was supposed to go, Craig was meant to agree that Adam's leaving was for the best; he wasn't supposed to try and change his mind. And he certainly wasn't supposed to burn a look into him that melted Adam's very soul.

"I still think it's best if I go," Adam said firmly dropping his eyes to the surface of the table.

"I don't want you to go… you're my mate… I like you being here… and besides – I couldn't afford this place on my own."

"You'll find another flatmate easy enough."

"I don't want another flatmate… I'm more than happy with the one I've got… I don't want you to move out."

"I'm sure John Paul would be happier if I wasn't here, he'll be going back to Chester in a few days and…"

Craig squeezed Adam's hand harder. "I don't think John Paul would want you to leave either," he said gently, "We're mates Adam, good mates, I'd hate to lose that over… over something that will pass… and it will…"

Adam shook his head, he could feel tears pricking behind his eyes and the last thing he needed was kind words from Craig. "I still think it's best I go," he insisted, "That way there's can't be any more misunderstandings and John Paul…"

"John Paul doesn't want you to leave either."

Both men's heads turned to the doorway where neither had noticed the blond haired man standing for the last few minutes.

There was a smile on John Paul's mouth as he walked into the room. "I need someone to look after Craig while I'm not here." His eyes fell to the tabletop where Craig was still holding on to Adam's hand. As soon as he noticed where John Paul's gaze rested Adam's snatched his arm back as if scolded, grinding his teeth together and cursing himself for his stupidity. He'd done it again. Even when he had the best intentions at heart he still managed to throw a spanner in the works.

John Paul took a seat next to Craig, the smile hadn't faded from his lips and there seemed no anger in his eyes despite finding his boyfriend holding tightly onto the hand of another man.

"I mean it," John Paul continued, "I don't want you to leave. Craig needs you here, he needs someone who cares about him nearly as much as I do… and I can't think of anyone better…"

Adam looked into the dazzling blue of John Paul's eyes with astonishment, he had been certain that the man would welcome his offer to leave the flat, that he would want Adam as far away from his boyfriend as possible once he returned to Chester.

"I don't understand," Adam said, "I thought… after everything I just expected that…"

"Your friendship is important to Craig," John Paul explained, "So it's important to me… we all know the situation… just like you know that what Craig and I have got… nothing can come between that…"

"And I wouldn't want to… honestly I wouldn't…"

"So there's no need to leave then is there?" John Paul took Craig's hand in his own before reaching for Adam's. He pulled the two hands together, squeezing them both gently. "Friendships are worth fighting for," he said with a smile at Adam. "Almost as much as love," his smile turned to Craig and for a moment he was lost in the loving look he found in Craig's eyes.

"You two are amazing," Adam said smiling a smile that was more genuine that any he had known for a long time, "And if anyone ever tries to come between you… we'll they'll have to get through me first."

Adam lifted his drink and took a sip quickly spitting the cold coffee back into the cup.

"I think I need a fresh one," he said with a grimace, "Anyone else?"

John Paul and Craig both nodded their acceptance as Adam went to the sink to fill the kettle.

"Thank you," Craig mouthed silently at John Paul.

John Paul just smiled. There was still a small part of him that felt an unease at leaving Craig behind with Adam but he knew that he had to learn to trust his lover or there really was no future for them and this seemed a good a place to start as any.

---

The water was hot, almost painfully so, but John Paul didn't seem to have the energy to reach up and turn the shower down to a cooler setting. Instead he stood with his hands leaning against the cool of the bathroom tiles and let the water turn his skin a deep pink with its heat, the pain of it masking, at least temporarily, the terrible ache in his chest.

When he had first boarded the plane to Ireland all he had been able to think about was spending the next few weeks with Craig. He had no idea what else his visit to Dublin had in store for him, he hadn't expected the problems that Adam would cause and he had no idea that he would end up more in love with Craig than when he first arrived. He hadn't thought that was even possible.

He felt as if he had only arrived a few days ago but already it was time to pack his case and return home. No, not home, if home really was "where the heart is" then for the time being at least home was in Dublin but John Paul had to leave it behind and return to Chester.

He had to leave Craig behind, with Adam, and as much as he had learnt that he could trust Craig completely the thought still left an unsettling feeling of dread deep in his chest.

John Paul hadn't noticed the bathroom door open but he smiled as he felt the familiar arms slipping around his waist.

"I was wondering what was taking you so long," Craig said as he nuzzled into John Paul's neck.

"I was waiting for you," John Paul replied as he turned to face the man he loved.

Craig reached behind him to turn the dial on the shower. "Got that a bit high haven't you?"

"I didn't notice."

Craig felt concern as he looked into John Paul's eyes. Their familiar bright blue seemed dulled by sadness, and were those tears he could see or just droplets of water from the shower?

"You OK?" Craig touched his hand to John Paul's face and felt it tremble slightly under his touch as if the man was fighting to hold in the emotions that were threatening to consume him.

"I can't believe it's time for me to leave already," John Paul replied with a shaky voice.

Craig pulled John Paul against him. "I wish you didn't have to go," he said with a tight hug.

"Ask me to stay and I will."

"Ask me to come with you and I will…"

The men looked at each other and smiled. The both knew that the other would never make such a request, not now that they had both worked too long and too hard at their respective courses for the other to ask them to walk away from it, no matter how much they wanted to.

"It's not for long now," Craig said reassuringly, "and then we can be together… always."

"You promise?"

"On my life…"

Craig's lips were soft as they pressed lightly against John Paul's. A kiss to remember through the lonely nights to come, a kiss to hold in their hearts until they were together again, a kiss full of happiness and tears and a promise of a future together.

John Paul's skin was warm and slick with water as Craig held him. For the first time in a very long time Craig felt afraid to let go, he had grown so accustomed to John Paul being there every day, to looking into those brilliant blue eyes as often as he wanted and the thought that it was all about to be taken away again made him feel weak.

"I should have fought for you sooner," Craig said under his breath, a comment more to himself than to the man in his arms but John Paul heard the words and understood the pain behind them.

"I should never have let you go," John Paul replied as he held Craig tightly.

Craig knew that it wasn't just the water from the shower he could see running over John Paul's cheeks, just as he knew the warmth on his own face was caused by the heat of his tears.

They stood silently in each others embrace, listening to the sound of the shower and the beating of their hearts and tried to make the moment last as long as it could but they knew that all too soon they would have to let go.

John Paul's mouth searched for Craig's with urgency, with a desperate need to be as close as possible to him again, to taste him, to caress him and to make love to him while they still had time. Craig's lips parted at the insistence of John Paul's tongue and their bodies pressed tightly together under the steady flow of water.

Craig filled his palm with shower gel and smoothed it over John Paul's chest, the gel quickly turning to a soft foam against his damp skin as Craig spread it further over John Paul's body, feeling it respond to his touch as his hands moved over John Paul's thighs and eased the soap over the growing firmness of his cock.

Taking hold of John Paul's shoulders he turned the man from him before pouring more gel into his hand and soaping gently over his back, down towards his buttocks and then between them, pressing lightly at the opening hidden there until it allowed him access to the accompanying sigh from John Paul's lips.

"It's gonna be so long till we can be like this again," Craig whispered into John Paul's ear as he kissed it gently.

"Then we'd better make the most of it," John Paul replied as he turned back to face his lover, pulling the man close to him, sharing the soap that covered his body and smiling as he felt the hardness of Craig pushing against his belly. "Show me how much you love me one more time before I have to go."

Their mouths collided with a passion as they held on for all they were worth.

Craig took John Paul's cock in his hand and held it against his own; his palm was still slick with soap as it pressed them together moving slowly over their lengths as their tongues danced together in the heat of their mouths.

The intensity of their need increased rapidly as Craig continued to massage their cocks together until their hearts raced and their breaths came in short heavy gasps.

"I love you so much Craig Dean," John Paul said breathlessly, "I want you… I need you…"

"I'm yours John Paul… forever…"

John Paul could feel the smoothness of the bathroom tiles against his back as Craig pressed hard against him in a desperate attempt to get closer to his love but it still wasn't close enough.

"Make love to me Craig, I need to feel you… I need you inside me…"

Craig released his hold on John Paul's cock as the man turned from him and placed his hands against the cool damp tiles.

Running his hands over John Paul's back Craig could feel the man's body shake in anticipation at his touch. He wanted to make the moment last forever, for a lifetime, but forever had to wait and their lifetime together hadn't begun yet.

John Paul moaned softly as he felt the head of Craig's cock pushing against him until his body opened up and welcomed him deep inside, filling him with such pleasure and intensity that he felt himself complete.

Craig pressed his mouth into the curve of John Paul's neck as his cock sank deeper into the heat of his flesh, gripping him, caressing him and wanting him like nothing and no one had ever done before.

He moved slowly at first, savouring the feeling of John Paul's body tight around every inch of his cock but his need and desire were so great that it wasn't long before he began to thrust harder and deeper, moaning loudly into John Paul's neck as his body revelled in the intense physical pleasure he felt.

John Paul closed his eyes and rested his forehead against his folded arms as he gave himself over completely to Craig. The feeling of Craig deep inside him, moving with a fevered passion was so extreme that when his cock hit that perfect spot John Paul couldn't hold back the cries of delight urging Craig to go faster, harder and deeper, to bring them both to the satisfaction that they craved.

Craig gripped hard onto John Paul's cock, he could tell by the desperate sounds in John Paul's throat that he was close to coming and Craig's firm strokes along his cock brought that release to its screaming conclusion.

John Paul could hear his voice calling out Craig's name but it seemed so far removed from him as his body trembled with the power of his climax ripping through his flesh as Craig's cock continued to drive deeply into him until he felt he could hardly cope with how amazing he felt.

"I love you," Craig breathed into John Paul's ear as he thrust into the shuddering flesh of the man's body, hard and fast until he could resist no longer and he allowed the release of his orgasm to flow through him as he came buried deep inside his one true love.

They leant panting against the wall for some time as the warm water of the shower continued to wash over them until they had the strength in their legs to stand upright again.

"Will it be like this back in Chester?" John Paul asked quietly.

"Well we might have to get out of the shower some time," Craig joked.

"But US… will things be… when we're back home…" John Paul struggled to put words to his concerns. In Dublin everything was always so easy and being together had never been a problem, but could Craig promise the same when they got back home?

"I love you John Paul," Craig said seriously holding the man's face in his hands, "And I don't care who knows it… hell I want them all to know it… maybe I should take out an ad!"

John Paul couldn't help but laugh. "I think that might be going a bit far," he said with a grin.

"Oh I don't know – I can see it now "Craig Dean would like to announce his love for John Paul McQueen"… it has a nice sound to it."

"Your mother would have a fit!"

"I don't care," Craig said with a serious look returning to his face, "All I care about is you… you and me… I don't need anything else."

---

"I don't get it!" John Paul looked at his case with a frown. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn't make the zip close those last few inches. "It all fit OK on my way here."

"Yes," Craig said slowly as he unzipped the case and looked at the mass of clothes crammed inside. "But it WAS all neatly folded then!"

John Paul sighed and looked at Craig with pleading eyes. Craig laughed and pulled out a familiar green and yellow striped hooded top. With that one item of clothing removed Craig finally managed to force the case closed and he slapped his hand on its top in triumph.

John Paul looked at the jumper that had been removed and left on the bed. "And what about that?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Craig picked up the top and held it to his face. The could smell the fragrance of John Paul's aftershave mingled delightfully with the scent of the man's skin and he breathed deeply for a second.

"I'll look after it for you," he said with a smile, "I'll bring it back when I come home."

John Paul felt a lump in his throat. When Craig came home, it still seemed like an impossible dream but each passing day was bringing that dream ever closer.

"Make sure you do," John Paul said with a forced cheeriness, "I like that top!"

"I'll guard it with my life!"

"You maybe don't need to go that far… just try and not leave it behind!"

Adam stood in the hallway as John Paul left the bedroom with his overstuffed case.

"Time to go?" he asked. John Paul just nodded sadly.

"We're gonna miss you around here," Adam said holding out his hand to John Paul.

John Paul looked at the man's hand for a second. Adam, the man who had once tried to cause trouble by saying he'd slept with Craig, the man who had confessed his love for the dark haired Dean and the man who John Paul now had to leave his boyfriend with. He took a hold of Adam's hand and used it to pull the man into his arms.

"You look after him for me," he said into Adam's hair.

"I will… I promise… and all that other stuff… I wouldn't… HE wouldn't…"

"I know… just take care of him… he's no good on his own."

Two men who shared a common love for the brown eyed man in their lives hugged tightly and John Paul realised that this could be the very last time he ever saw this green eyed mystery. He didn't expect to travel to Ireland again and, once Craig came home, there would be no reason for him to return either. He felt a pang of regret that Adam could soon just become a distant memory, under different circumstances, in another life he knew he could have found a great friendship in that man.

"Look after yourself John Paul, it's been good getting to know you. You and Craig, you're so right together, I'm glad I got to see that… I hope I can be that lucky one day."

Adam squeezed John Paul one last time and then walked back into the living room to leave the two lovers to their goodbyes.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come to the airport with you?" Craig asked as he ran his hand over John Paul's arm.

John Paul shook his head. "Airport goodbyes are too hard, it's better here…"

Craig looked at his watch, the taxi was due any second but it was too soon, it was always too soon, there was still so much more he wanted to say and no time left to say it.

"John Paul I…" Craig paused, lost for words as he gazed into the vastness of John Paul's deep blue eyes.

"I know," John Paul said touching a soft kiss to Craig's cheek, "I always know…"

The sound of a car horn made them both turn to the doorway. It was time.

With his case thrown into the boot of the taxi there was nothing left for John Paul to do but get into the car and leave.

He hesitated with his hand on the door handle; torn between the longing to stay and the logic that told him he had to go.

"Tell me one more time," he whispered with his eyes fixed on the whiteness of his knuckles as they gripped onto the handle.

Craig touched his finger to John Paul's chin and lifted the man's gaze to his own.

"I love you," he said simply, "And next time we're together… it's gonna be for keeps."

John Paul blinked away a tear as he kissed Craig one last time before getting into the car.

Craig stood on the kerb as the car sped away and felt his heart break, just a little bit, as the man he loved was taken from him again.

"Next time is for keeps," he repeated to himself as he walked slowly back inside the flat that suddenly felt a lot colder.

---

John Paul's room seemed so much smaller than he remembered but in reality nothing had changed. He took the framed photograph from beside his bed and held it to his chest. His thumb ran over the engraving on the back, he didn't need to see the words, he had read them so often they were burned into his mind "Because I've always loved you". It felt like a lifetime had passed since Craig had returned to him with that picture and, as he lay back on the bed with the framed photograph held tightly against him, he could hardly wait for his next lifetime to begin, the one with Craig, the one with Craig and him together, always.

Craig looked around his room and was surprised at its emptiness. He was so used to seeing some of John Paul's possessions scattered around that without them he felt lost. He smiled at the yellow and green striped top that lay on his pillow. He climbed onto the bed and held the top to his face breathing in deeply the scent he knew so well. Not being with John Paul was going to hurt so badly but he knew it would be worth the pain in the end. He knew he could make the sacrifice if the prize at the end of the struggle was to be with John Paul again. To be with him and never have a reason to leave, for the rest of his life.


End file.
